Nickrj’s rant for Wrestlemania XIII
This Wrestlemania took place at the Rosemont Horizon in Chicago Illinois on March 23 1997
Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Opening Match: Four Corners Tag Team Match, The Godwinns VS The HeadBangers VS Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon VS The New Blackjacks
Partners can tag anyone
they want and when a team member is eliminated he and his partner must go to
the locker room until there is one team left.
My version of this tape actually begins about a minute into this match so I’ll pick it up from there. It starts with Blackjack Bradshaw hitting a pump handle slam on Thrasher. Bradshaw tags Phineas Godwinn. He hits a backdrop and tags Mosh. The Headbangers are reluctant to face each other but the do and Thrasher tags Lafon. They double team Lafon but Thrasher gets out and tags Barry Windham. Furnas comes in and hits a hurricurana for 2. Windham catches Furnas and turns it into a powerbomb. Bradshaw comes in and both Blackjacks hit Furnas with a clothesline.Furnas dropkicks Bradshaw out of the ring but suplexs Furnas out of the ring. Bradshaw pounds away on Furnas outside but shoves the ref to get the Blackjacks DQ’d at 3:22. Furnas and Lafon are counted out at the same time leaving The Godwinns and the Headbangers. Henry slams Phenias onto Thrasher. Phenias hits a long suplex on Thrasher. Henry comes in and and pounds on Thrasher in the corner. He sends him into the other corner and hits a snap mare for 2. Phenias comes in and gives Thrasher a weak headbutt. They both start hammering each other. Henry comes in and hits a kneedrop for 2. Thrasher finally tags to Mosh and both men get knocked over to the outside. Mosh clotheslines Henry on the top rope. Mosh hits a backwards high crosh body and he throws Thrasher onto Henry on the outside. Mosh gets a two count and tags in Thrasher and they both clothesline Henry. Thrasher misses a moonsault and Henry tags in Phenias. And he hammers away on Mosh and Slams him. Phineas clotheslines Thrasher to the outside. Phineas goes for the slop drop and Thrasher stops him. Thrasher nails a sitting butt splash from the top on Phineas for the pin at 9:15. Pretty mediocre match *1/4
The Honky Tonk Man is doing color commentary for this match. Rocky gets booed as he comes to the ring. Sultan shoves Rocky to start. Rocky comes back by pounding on Sultan and gives him a clothesline and a couple of drop kicks send the Sultan to the outside. Crowd starts chanting “Rocky Sucks” as Rocky pounds on Sultan on the outside but clotheslines the ring post. Sultan slowly pounds on Rocky inside and gives a clothesline. Rocky blocks a right hand but Sultan throws Rocky into the corner by the throat and goes into the nerve pinch and hangs on for a minute. Rocky gets up and takes a knee to the stomach. Sultan hits a back breaker and goes to the top and hits a flying head butt and celebrates for a minute. This is dead air time here. He covers Rocky for 2. Rocky does a sunset flip on Sultan grabs him by the throat again and does a belly to belly for 2. He goes to the chinlock for 90 seconds and Rocky gets up and both men get clotheslined. And they lie for a minute before Rocky covers Sultan for 2. Sultan continues to pound away on Rocky but Rocky comes back and knocks down Sultan and hits a couple of drop kicks. He hits a belly to belly for 2. Rocky hits a DDT and goes to the top and hits a flying bodypress but the ref is distracted by the Iron Sheik. Rocky then takes a reverse kick from Sultan for 2. Sultan hits a pile driver for another 2. Rocky rolls up Sultan for the pin at 9:44. Pretty bad match ¼* JR then tries to interview Rocky but the Sultan attacks him and pounds him into the ring and nails a splash from the top rope. The Iron Sheik then places Maivia in the camel clutch. Rocky Johnson (Maivia’s Dad) comes into the ring and starts pounding away on the Sultan and when he checks on his son the sultan hits Johnson with the Iraq flagpole and tears his clothes off. Maivia gets up and clears both the Sultan and the Iron Sheik. They both slam the Sheik and knock him out of the ring. Both Rocky’s hug in the ring.
Todd Pettingill interviews Ken Shamrock who will be the Referee in the Bret Hart/Steve Austin submission match later on. We get a look at Shamrock on Raw Is War when he gives Billy Gunn an armbar and his patented Ankle Lock which Kurt Angle has ripped off.
Dok Hendrix interviews Hunter Hearst Helmsley who tries to find out Hunter’s relationship to Chyna
Goldust pounds away on Hunter to start. He hits him in the corner and does the 10 punch in the corner. Goldust hits a reverse atomic drop and clotheslines Hunter outside the ring. Goldust goes outside and ties Hunter in the ropes. Goldust continues to pound on Hunter while tied in the ropes. He rams Hunter’s face into the ringpost and clothelines Hunter into the ring. Hunter hits a knee to the face but Goldust counters with a power slam. He goes to the top and Hunter catches him and drops him 10 feet from the top rope onto the floor. Goldust’s face hits the ring apron. Hunter goes to the top and hits a flying fistdrop for 2. Hunter pounds away on Goldust in the corner. He sends Goldust back first into the corner and hits a neckbraker for 2. Ab strech by Hunter and he uses the rope for leverage. Ref breaks it up and Goldust takes a knee to the face for 2. Hunter does a chicken wing and tries three times to pin Goldust but can’t. Goldust gives a knee to hamstring area. Helmsley nails a suplex and hits a kneedrop. Goldust can’t slam Hunter but hits a flying bodypress for 2. They both knock each other out. Hunter gets up first and goes to the top but Goldust stops him with his behind. Both men are knocked out again. Hunter misses a charge. Goldust hits a back drop and a bulldog for 2. Chyna starts moving towards Marlena. Goldust sets the curtain call but Hunter goes for the pedigree but gets clotheslined into the ropes.Goldust sees Chyna with Marlena and pulls Marlena up but Hunter hits Goldust in the back and Marlena goes flying into Chyna who does a bear hug on her. Hunter hits the pedigree for the pin at 13:16. This match was very slow until the very end. *
Owen starts with Vader. Vader pounds on Owen in the corner. Owen slides under Vader and hits a clotheline and a spinning heel kick. Vader catches Owen in midair and dumps him but misses an elbow. Vader catches Owen and hits a power bomb but doesn’t cover Owen and JR points it out. Vader sets up Owen for the Vader Bomb and Bulldog knocks him off. Mankind pulls Bulldog in the ring and they both pound away on Bulldog. They both get knocked down though. Bulldog starts working on Mankind and he hits a vertical suplex. Vader comes in and get suplexed as well. Bulldog does a chinlock on Mankind. He gets up and Vader pulls the top rope down for the Bulldog who does to the outside. Mankind tries to hit Bulldog with Paul Bearer’s urn but gets drop toe hold. Vader hits the Bulldog with the urn to get in trouble. Vader gets tagged and suplexs Bulldog for 2. Vader hits an avalanche hits a flying splash from the 2nd for 2. Mankind comes in hits a flying knee in the corner and a legdrop from the apron. Mankind hits a backdrop and tags Vader. Vader continues to work on Bulldog. He goes to the top but Bulldog catches him in midair and tags Owen. Owen hits a dropkick from the top rope. He does a sunset flip and ducks Vader’s butt splash. Owen hits a flying bodypress for 2 but takes a shoulderblock. Owen gets dumped outside the ring and Mankind hits an elbow while Vader holds Owen on his knee. Mankind clotheslines Owen on the top rope and Vader rams him into the railing. Mankind does a chinhold but Owen hits a DDT. He goes for a splash but Mankind brings the knees up and gets 2. Mankind takes a spinning heel kick and Owen gets 2. Vader comes in and pounds on Owen in the corner. Owen comes out of a suplex and hits a spinning heel kick for Vader. Vader hits an elbow drop for 2. Mankind comes in and throws Owen out of the ring again. But takes a belly to belly outside from Owen. Owen hits an Enzuguri inside on Mankind and tags Bulldog who pounds away on both Vader and Mankind. Bulldog sends Mankind stomach first in the corner but Mankind hits the Mandible Claw and Vader pounds on Owen. Both Mankind and Bulldog spill on the outside and Mankind continues the mandible claw and both teams get counted out at 16:07. Bad ending but still this is the match of the night thus far **.
We get a look at the awesome Bret Hart/Steve Austin feud which has caused Bret to get so frustrated that after losing a cage match to Sycho Sid, he grabs the Microphone when Vince interviews him and says “FRUSTRATED ISN’T THE G*DAMN WORD FOR IT! THIS IS BULLSH*T!” live on USA Network. The fans have turned on Bret as well. To gain their respect back he must beat Steve Austin at Wrestlemania XIII.
Ken Shamrock is the special referee. They both start by pounding each other. They go outside the ring and beat up each other some more. Bret rams Austin in the ring post. Austin sets up Bret on the railing and clotheslines him into the audience. They beat each other up in the audience and this is really looking personal. Austin goes for a piledriver but gets backdropped. They both go back out into the ring area. And Bret hits a knee drop from the top of the railing. Austin rams Bret into the stairs and hits a flying forearm from the apron. Austin goes for the steps but Bret kicks him. Austin sends Bret stomach first into the apron. They both go in the ring and Austin starts pounding on Bret but Bret hits a neck breaker. Bret hits an elbow from the 2nd rope. Bret starts working on the injured right leg of Austin. He works on it for a couple of minutes and Austin is in pain now. But Bret misses a butt bomb and Austin nails a stunner. Bret gets up and continues to work on the injured leg. He hooks the figure four leglock using the ringpost for leverage and I think this is the first time he ever did this. Austin is screaming in pain now. Bret grabs the ring bell and a chair. He puts the chair around Austin’s knee but Austin picks up the chair and nails Bret with it on the top rope. He then whacks Bret across the back with the chair. Austin slams Bret and sends him back first into the corner. Austin hits a suplex then an elbow from the 2nd rope. Austin then hits a Russian leg sweep and then a neck breaking type hold bending Bret’s head back with his leg. Austin then goes for a Boston Crab. But Bret won’t give up. Bret reaches the ropes. Austin then tries for a Sharpshooter but gets thumbed in the eyes. Bret starts hammering on Austin but Austin sends him out of the ring. He comes outside where Bret throws him and Austin’s head hits the railing. Austin is busted open now. Bret rams his head into the railing again. Austin is bleeding bad now. Austin gets rammed into the steps and into the ringpost. Bret pounds away on Austin inside the ring now hammering into Austin’s lacerated cranium. Bret hits a backbreaker followed by an elbow from the 2nd rope. He then uses the chair on Austin’s injured leg. He tries for the Sharpshooter but can’t get it. Bret continues to hammer on Austin in the corner but Austin hits a low blow. Austin sends Bret stomach first into the Buckle and he kicks away in the stomach of Bret Hart while giving the double bird in the process. Austin sets Bret on the top rope and hits a superplex which hurts Austin as well. Austin sends Bret in the ropes and grabs some cable from the outside. He tries to strangle Bret but Bret grabs the ringbell and nails Austin in the forehead. Bret then hooks the sharpshooter and Austin is literally bleeding and screaming but he still won’t give up. Austin tries to reverse the hold but Bret still hangs on. Austin eventually passes out and Shamrock stops the match at 22:03. This was an excellent match as these two really wanted to kill each other and is the best Wrestlemania match since Wrestlemania X *****. Then comes the frosting on the cake. Bret celebrates in the ring but then pounds on Austin’s injured leg and tries again for the sharpshooter but Shamrock stops him and takes him down. Bret then leaves the ring to a huge Bronx cheer. Austin then gets up and gives a stunner to a referee but he leaves the ring on his own and to a standing ovation. A great double turn pulled by the WWF.
Todd Pettingill interviews the Nation and they’ve got 2X4’s Billy Clubs Garbage Cans Nun chucks, everything but the kitchen sink.
Chicago Street Fight Ahmed Johnson and the Legion Of Doom VS The Nation Of Domination (Farooq, Crush and Savio Vega)
Ahmed and the LOD came out and bring the kitchen sink that Farooq was missing. All six men in the ring start by brawling.The other members of the nation get into it as well. Farooq nails Animal with a knifestick. Ahmed gets backdropped into the audience. Animal nails Farooq with a garbage can and Crush as well. Hawk nails Savio with a 2X4. Animal pile drives Farooq on the Spanish announce table. Crush pounds on Ahmed and Animal uses a Fire Extinguisher on Farooq. Crush throws Animal in the steps. Savio has a trash can over his head. Farooq hits Ahmed with a trash can. He slams Farooq through the announce table. Savio chokes out Ahmed with a knifestick but gets nailed with a trash can. The fire extinguisher is used on Animal this time. and Vince and JR are coughing. Savio puts the trash can on Ahmed’s head. He strangles Ahmed’s head with a rope. Farooq is pounding Animal with a trash can. Hawk clotheslines Farooq and Savio and Jerry says this is the first wrestling move he’s seen all night. I would agree with him. J
Animal hits Farooq with a road sign. Savio sends Ahmed into the audience again. Hawk is now being tied up by Farooq with the same rope. Someone pounds Animal with a wrench as Ahmed is being beat up on the outside. Farooq gets taken from the 2nd rope to the outside. Savio beats up Hawk with the knifestick. Savio rams Hawk’s head into the timekeeper’s table. Ahmed nails a spine buster on Farooq. And the LOD use the Fire Extinguisher all over the place. The LOD nail the doomsday device on Crush. Ahmed clotheslines Crush with the 2X4 and Animal pins Crush at 10:45 to win. This was a pretty
good brawl. **1/2
Shawn Michaels comes into the ring and starts dancing in the ring. He will be the Color Commentator in the upcoming title match
Both guys start with a staredown and Bret Hart comes into the ring and grabs the mic. He starts taunting Shawn and tells him to go back and “find his smile” he taunts the Undertaker who says he’ll no longer be his friend. And he says to Sid that that wwf title belt was his and that Sid was a fraud. Sid responds by power bombing Bret and tells him to get his ass out of there. Undertaker then starts by pounding away on Sid. Sid runs into a big boot. Undertaker pounds away on Sid in the corner and nails a flying bodypress in the corner. Undertaker slams Sid for 2. Undertaker does the top rope walk and elbow to the back. Sid grabs the Undertaker in the corner and does a bear hug. He hold on for 2 minutes, pounds on him and grabs him again in the bear hug. Sid slowly works over the Undertaker now. Sid nails a big boot on the Undertaker and Sid clothelines him out of the ring. Sid kicks him over the annonce table and drops him face first into the railing twice. Sid slams Undertaker into the announce table again. Sid rams him backfirst into the ringpost. Sid covers the Undertaker for 2. Sid does the camel clutch. Sid nails a double ax handle from the 2nd rope. Undertaker starts to fight back. He rams Sid into the corner. Sid hits a power slam for 2. He tries 3 times to pin Undertaker. Sid hits a huge legdrop for 2. Sid is trying to tear the face of the Undertaker. Undertaker hits a flying clothesline. Sid slowly beats up on the Undertaker in the corner. Undertaker pulls Sid out of the ring. Undertaker sends Sid into the audience. They beat each other up on the outside. Undertaker rams Sid’s face into the steps. Undertaker misses an elbow. Sid does another resthold. Undertaker fights back again and hits a power slam for 2. Undertaker now does a resthold going to the nerves. Undertaker clotheslines Sid for 2. Undertaker hits a big boot and Sid covers him for 2. Sid hits another double ax handle. He hits a crappy flying clothesline from the 2nd for 2. Sid goes the 2nd again but the Undertaker catches him. Sid slams the Undertaker and goes to the top but the Undertaker rises and catches Sid. Undertaker throws Sid from the top rope. Undertaker now goes to the top rope and hits a flying clothesline for 2. Undertaker signals for the tombstone and gets him up but Sid reverses hit and hits one of his own for only 2. Sid throws the Undertaker out of the ring and Bret Hart comes back out and nails Sid with a chair. The officials usher him out of the aisleway. Sid is rammed back first into the steel post. Undertaker hits a chokeslam for 2. Undertaker is flipped onto his back. Sid sets up for the powerbomb and Bret comes back out and gets Sid clotheslined into the top rope and the Undertaker hits the tombstone and gets the pin at 21:20 to become the new WWF champion. Really bad match that lasted way way too long. ¼*
Summary: Well I don’t know what to say here. This show rivals Wreslemania IX in terms of wrestling however Wrestlemania IX didn’t have a classic match like XIII does with Bret Hart/Steve Austin. That match is a must see so I’ll go with MILD RECOMMENDATION TO AVOID If you do rent or buy it, Don’t expect too much other than the Hart/Austin match.