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Nickrj’s rant for Wrestlemania X-Seven

 

Live from the Astrodome in Houston, Texas on April 1, 2001 and a huge crowd of over 60,000!!

 

A great opening video is shown narrated by Classie Freddie Blassie.

 

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Paul Heyman (Formerly Paul E. Dangerously.) See Jerry Lawler left the WWF temporarily because his girlfriend the Kat was fired after No Way Out.

 

IC Title Match: Chris Jericho VS William Regal

You know how low the Intercontinental title has become when it is used in the opening matchup. Regal gets some shots but Chris gets a clothesline and a chop. Spin kick by Y2J and a slingshot crossbody which almost misses Regal on the outside. Back in Chris hits a top rope back elbow for 2 and Regal’s chest is red already. Chris tries the Walls of Jericho but Regal blocks it and sends Chris’s shoulder into the post twice. Regal goes to work on the right shoulder now. He pulls on it but Chris starts to fight back but Regal blocks a lionsault and rolls up Chris for 2. Back suplex and Chris lands on his head for 2. Regal takes down the turnbuckle pad and rams Chris’ shoulder into the steel. Chris hits an enzuguri though. Right hand by Chris and he hits a missle dropkick for 2. He misses a charge however and Regal takes advantage. Regal hits a double underhook superplex for a 2 count. Chris comes out of a suplex and tries the walls but Regal counters into a STF submission hold. Chris makes the ropes however and starts to fight back with some chops but takes a kick. Chris with a bulldog and a suplex. Asai moonsault by Chris gets the pin at 7:08. Pretty good opener **1/2

 

We see a limo with the WCW1 license plate as Shane McMahon arrives in the arena. Meanwhile the APA and Jacqueline meet and Bradshaw in his home state is fired up.

 

Six Man Tag: Right To Censor (Val Venis, The Goodfather and Bull Buchanan with Steven Richards) VS Tazz and the APA (with Jacqueline)

6 man brawl outside the ring to start but Tazz gets Venis inside the ring and knocks him out. Jackie with a DDT on the Goodfather. Bull hits a flying clothesline on Farooq but Farooq hits a power slam for 2. Tazz comes in and hits his one arm suplex on Bull but Bull hits a high kick. Venis gets the tag and he hammers on Tazz and hits some knee lifts and a Russian leg sweep for 2. Goodfather comes in and they hit a double elbow. Goodfather with a slam and a legdrop followed by a back elbow and a back suplex for 2. Goodfather hits a charge and a clothesline but he misses a Vader Bomb and Bradshaw gets the hot tag and hammers on Goodfather and then all 3 members of RTC. Bradshaw with a backslam on Venis. Double slam by the APA and it’s turning into a brawl now. Bradshaw with a back superplex on Venis but RTC hit a spike powerbomb on Bradshaw but Goodfather misses the ho train and Bradshaw gets the Clothesline from hell for the pin at 3:54. Pretty quick but pretty energetic *1/4

 

Trish Stratus wheels in a paralyzed Linda McMahon in a wheelchair over to Stephanie McMahon Helmsley. Can someone tell me why Linda was paralyzed? (I don’t watch Raw or Smackdown that much anymore.)

 

Hardcore Triple Threat Title Match: Raven VS Big Show VS Kane

Raven brings a cart full of weapons to the ring. Kane gets a big pop. He and Raven go at it although the Big Show hasn’t come yet and now he does. Kane throws Raven on top of Show and he hits a top rope clothesline on the outside and Show almost gets a 3. They go out into the audience now. Show and Kane battle it out and they’re near the exit. Raven pounds Kane with a can and they’re backstage now and Raven puts a hole in the wall with his bump and Kane is slammed on wooden palettes. They go in the Utility room and Show locks Kane out but Kane brakes it in. Kane breaks a board on Show. Raven tries to choke Kane with a hose. Kane does the same to Raven and throws him thru a window! Show throws Kane thru the door. He tries the chokeslam but Kane does the same. They creating holes and they go thru the wall as Raven attacks them and he tries to escape in a gold cart but Show catches him and they drive thru the girders. Kane drives in another cart and runs over Raven. All 3 men continue to batter each other as Raven is thrown into the concessions. They go to the entrance way now and they’re on the stage. Show hits a short clothesline on Kane. Show has Raven in a press slam but Kane kicks show and they both go off the stage and into a box or something. Kane hits a legdrop and pins Show for the win at 9:18 to become the new Hardcore champ. Kind of a boring brawl with some nice bumps. *1/2


Kurt Angle watches a Chris Benoit match and Edge & Christian come in to chatter with him. Meanwhile Hall of Famer Jimmy Snuka is over at WWF New York in Times Square

The Rock enters the dressing room and starts to get ready for his WWF title match against Steve Austin.

 

European Title Match: Test VS Eddie Guerrero (with Perry Saturn)

They slug it out to start and Test gets a face slam and power bomb for 2. They slug it out outside now. Eddie starts to fight back now but Test gets a slam into the corner and a clothesline for 2. Test with an elbow and a slam. He goes to the 2nd rope but is caught and Test blocks a top rope hurricurana and he hits a top rope elbow for 2. Eddie sends Test to the outside and Saturn gets some cheap shots as Test’s foot is caught between the ropes. Eddie starts to work on the injured left leg of Test now. They go back in and Eddie hammers on the left leg. Eddie hooks the sleeper. Test hits a tilt a whirl slam though and he hits a tilt a whirl powerbomb for 2. He runs into an elbow however and Eddie gets a low kick and Saturn hits a suplex for 2 only. Eddie hits a brainbuster and he goes to the top and misses a cannonball and Test hits the pump handle powerslam for 2. Test kicks Saturn and Eddie. Dean Malenko coms out and pulls off Test but gets nailed and Eddie nails Test with the title and he gets the pin at 8:06 to become the new European champion. Another pretty good match **3/4

 

Mick Foley is interviewed for the street fight between Vince and Shane McMahon. He’ll be the referee. Steve Austin now arrives in the building as the challenger for the WWF title.

 

Kurt Angle VS Chris Benoit

The battle of the Ankle Lock and the Crippler Crossface! Tie up and they do some amateur mat moves. Angle with a take down and they roll up some more. Angle drops Chris and they go back to the amateur style. Angle with a leg lock. He takes down Benoit again and Chris almost gets the Crossface. He almost gets it again but Angle reaches the ropes both times. Another take down by Angle and Chris almost gets the Crossface again! Angle nails Benoit and tosses him outside. He throws him to the announce table and to the steps! Angle with a suplex for 2. He hits a back suplex for another 2. Kurt is pounding on Benoit in the corner. Benoit starts to fight back with some chops but Angle gets a Belly to Belly suplex and drawing some big time heat in the process. Another Belly to Belly. Short clothesline by Chris. Benoit starts chopping Chris and Angle does the same. Chris gets a knee lift and a reverse elbow for 2. Benoit sets up Angle on the top rope and hits a superplex for 2. 2 Dragon suplexes by Benoit but Angle gets a drop toe hold and almost into the ankle lock but Benoit reverses it but is kicked. Armbar into the Crossface by Benoit but Angle gets out and reverses it! Benoit kicks Angle into the ref who goes down and Benoit hits the Crossface and Angle’s tapping out but there’s no ref. Benoit releases to help the ref up and Angle hits his Angle slam for 2 ¾. Angle with a slam and he goes to the top and gets caught by the knees on a moonsault. Benoit goes to the top and hits the flying headbutt for 2. Angle with a low kick and an armbar takedown into a roll up and he pulls the tights for the pin at 14:02. Great amateur style match ****

 

William Regal goes into his office to find Kamala on top of his desk.

 

Benoit attacks Angle during the post match interview and locks the Crossface on him.

 

Women’s Title Match: Ivory VS Chyna

This is a rematch after Chyna reinjured her neck at the Royal Rumble. Ivory nails Chyna with the title and pounds away at the injured neck. Chyna catches the foot of Ivory however and tosses her away. Chyna kicks Ivory away in the corner and she gets a hip toss and some clotheslines. Backdrop followed by a powerbomb but she picks her up at 2. Chyna hits a press slam and gets the pin at 2:38 to become the new Women’s champion. Good thing this was short. DUD

 

Street Fight Match: Shane McMahon VS Vince McMahon (with Stephanie McMahon Helmsley)

Talk about At Close Range, we’ve got your father/son confrontation right here in the WWF! Mick Foley is the referee here. This issue escalated when Shane bought WCW instead of Vince. Vince gets a slap and he hammers on Shane in the corner. Shane starts to fight back and he hits a clothesline and a spear. Stephanie comes in the ring and nails Shane and quickly gets outside. Shane baseball slides Vince to the outside and hammers on him. Shane hitting Vince with a Keep Off board. He goes on top of the rail and hits a flying clothesline. Shane goes under the ring and grabs a long stick and whacks Vince with it. Mick says something to JR in the meantime and I can’t make it out. Shane with the Ali shuffle and he throws some jabs at his father. He takes apart the top of the Spanish announce table and he nails Vince with a monitor and sets him on it. Shane goes to the top and does the flying elbow thru the table but Stephanie pulls Vince out of the way. Shane is out of it now. Trish Stratus comes out with the paralyzed Linda McMahon on a wheelchair. Trish then flirts with Vince and then nails him. Stephanie and Trish now fight it out just like they did at the Royal Rumble. Mick carries Stephanie off Trish and he gets slapped as a result. Trish and Stephanie take it to the locker room. Vince sees Linda now. Mick tries to stop Vince and he tries to wheel Linda back but Vince whacks Mick with 2 chairshots. Vince now places his wife in the ring earning an “asshole” chant. He sets up a chair in the ring, sets it up in the corner and places Linda on it. Vince takes Shane into the ring now and he throws 4 trash cans in the ring. He nails Shane with one and gives crap to Linda. Vince is whacking Shane in the back with the can and gives more crap to Linda. Vince grabs another can and Linda rises up from her chair drawing a big pop and she kicks Vince in the balls! And Mick beats up on Vince as well and hits the running knee in the corner. Shane puts the trash can on Vince and he hits a top rope drop kick to the can into Vince and Shane gets the pin at 14:11!! Huge pop for that one! Great job by everybody who knows how to tell a good story ***1/2

 

Tables Ladders and Chairs II Tag Team Title Match: The Dudley Boyz VS Edge and Christian VS The Hardy Boyz

The first TLC match was at SummerSlam 2000 with E&C winning. 6 man brawl to start. The Dudleys hit a flapjack but the Hardys hit some shots on the Dudleys as E&C use the ladder to knock both teams out. E&C hang Matt Hardy upside down and drop Jeff onto two chairs. Matt climbs the ladder and Edge drops him off. Edge now climbs the ladder but is dropped off by Jeff. Bubba Ray and D-von ram another ladder inot Matt and Matt pulls off Christian. The Hardys set up ladders in the corner and they hit Christian from the top of both ladders. D-Von hits the WHAZZUP CROTCH HEADBUTT OF DOOM on Edge. Bubba yells “GET THE TABLE!” and D-von obliges. They set up a table in the ring and one in the corner. Bubba power bombs Jeff onto Edge in the table in the ring. The Dudleys stack one table on top of two outside the ring. Matt grabs a ladder and sets it in the ring. 3 ladders are now in the middle of the ring. Jeff and D-von are on one. Bubba and Edge are on another and Christian and Matt are dropped to the outside as the other 4 men are down. Christian sets up a table outside the ring as Spike Dudley comes in the ring and DDT’s Christian from the apron onto the table. Rhyno is now in the ring and he rams the ladder into the Dudleys andhe head butts Matt into the table in the corner. Lita now comes down and pulls Edge off but she is caught by Rhyno and Spike low blows Rhyno and Lita hits a top rope hurriurcurana on Rhyno as Spike chairshots the ladder causing Edge to fall off. Rhyno gets nailed by the Dudleys as Lita hits a chairshot but she takes a 3-D. 3 ladders are set up in the corner and a huge ladder is set up on the outside Jeff climbs up the huge ladder and hits a swanton on Rhyno thru the table!! Edge now sets up the huge ladder by the other 3. D-Von and Christian climb up the huge ladder and Matt takes the ladder leaving them hanging from the rung. D-Von goes down as does Christian. Jeff tries to climb the ladders but falls over. He climbs the ladder under the rung and hangs on to the belts but can’t bring him down as Bubba takes the ladder away and Edge SPEARS Jeff all the way down! Bubba and Matt are on top of the ladder but Rhyno knocks it over and Bubba and Matt land of top the 3 tables that were set up earlier!! “Holy Sh*t!” chant for that. D-Von and Christian climb the ladder with Rhyno helping Christian and Christian grabs the belt at 15:40 to win it. Wow! These teams knew how to do great ladder matches. *****

 

Howard Finkel announces a new Astrodome record crowd of 67,925!!

 

20 Man Gimmick Battle Royal

Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are introduced as they do commentary for this match. The participants are The Bushwhackers (Luke and Butch), Duke the Dumpster Droese, The Iron Sheik, (Bobby: By the time the Iron Sheik gets to the ring it’ll be Wrestlemania 38.) Earthquake, The Goon (a hockey player), Doink the Clown, Kamala and Kimchee (with Harvey Whippleman), Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, The Gobbly Gooker, (from Survivor Series 1990) Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, (“IIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOVEEEE YOUUUUUUU!) and Sgt. Slaughter. I’m surprised that Bastion Booger or T.L. Hopper isn’t in this thing. Oh well, onto the match.

 

Repo man is dumped out right away along with the Gooker. Quake dumps Tugboat out, Kamala throws out Quake, Kimchee is gone by Kamala, Luke and Cornette are gone along with Droese, Butch dumps out Goon and Volkoff is gone. Doink dumps out Butch. Kamala gets rid of Doink, Hayes is gone and the Gang is gone. Down to 5 men. Sarge gets Kamala out and Love out but Jim gets rid of Slaughter and Sheik gets rid of Jim to win it at 3:04. Slaughter comes back in and hooks the Cobra Clutch on Sheik though. Short and sweet Battle Royal DUD.

 

The Undertaker VS Triple H

Undertaker has an undefeated Wrestlemania streak on the line here. They brawl outside the ring to start it off. H breaks another Spanish announce table. They can’t catch a break can’t they? The match starts inside the ring and they slug it out and H hits a high knee but UT gets right back up. UT hits a backdrop and a clothesline in the corner and in another one. UT hits a powerslam but misses an elbow. He hits a flying clothesline however. UT grabs the right arm of H and starts pulling on it. He tries the top rope walk but H pulls him off. H hits a neckbreaker for 2. He drives UT’s face into the mat. H hits another neckbreaker for 2 and tries to get the refs attention. UT hits a low blow and some stomach shots. H hits a face buster however. He goes outside and grabs his sledgehammer that he stole from Gallagher. J The ref stops H from using it and H almost hits the pedigree and Triple H is slingshotted into the ref and UT hits a chokeslam for 2. UT can’t believe it so he elbow drops the ref and Mike Chioda is out. UT throws Triple H to the outside. H is backdropped into the audience. They go thru the crowd and up to the soundstage. UT pounds away on H. H nails a chair twice however and he uses it to work on the leg. UT catches H by the throat and he chokeslams him off the camera tower and into the crowd! Another “Holy Sh*t!!” chant. UT drops an elbow on H from the tower! UT shoves the EMT’s away to continue to pound on Triple H. They go back towards the ring now. UT grabs the sledgehammer in the ring now and the crowd is popping big time!! H hits a low kick however in desperation. H has the hammer but is kicked by UT. Both men are pounding each other now. H sets up UT for the Tombstone but UT reverses and hits it! No referee however as he’s still down! UT finally wakes him up and he signals for the Last Ride powerbomb. H grabs the sledgehammer besides him and he nails UT right in the face but he only gets a 2 count!! UT is busted open now. H pounds on UT in the corner and does the 10 punch count but UT catches him and hits the Last Ride for the pin at 18:17 keeping his Wrestlemania undefeated streak intact! Good match ***1/2

 

WWF Title Match: The Rock VS Steve Austin

Howard Finkel announces that this is a no DQ match and that’s the first sign to JR that something’s not right. Austin gets a big hometown pop! Rock gets about 50-50 in crowd reaction. Austin pounds on Rock to start and he hits a Lou Thesz press. Rock counters a head down into a neckbreaker. They almost hit each others finishers and Rock is thrown to the outside. They battle it out and they go into the audience. Rock throws Austin back in and he rams him to the English announce table. Austin gets a short clothesline and he throws Rock back in and stomps away on him. He chokes him on the 2nd rope and hits a butt splash on it for 2. Austin sets up Rock on the top rope and hits a superplex and the Rock has injured his lower back I believe. Austin takes off the top turnbuckle and Rock starts to fight back and hits a flying clothesline and an armbar takedown for 2. Rock clotheslines Austin to the outside and he drives him to the table again and to the Timekeepers table. The ref warns him and the Rock shoves him down and Austin nails Rock with the ring bell. Austin throws away the timekeeper and he hammers on Rock who is now busted open. The Rock falls thru the announce table as the ref is warning Austin. Steve hits some of his right hands knocking Rock down and he hammers away on Rocky’s busted forehead. Rock is almost rammed into the unprotected buckle but he takes a swinging neckbreaker for 2. He kicks on Rock’s stomach in the corner and now his head. He tries choking him out in the corner and he goes after the ref. Rock comes back with a clothesline drawing some heat. Another clothesline and some right hands and he throws Austin’s face into the steel in the corner. Rock grabs the ring bell and nails Austin with it as Austin is now busted open and Rock gets a 2 count. They’re both bleeding buckets now! Rock gets some right hands and he’s pounding away on Austin. Rock elbows on Austin on the apron. Austin blocks being rammed into the rail and he drops Rock onto the rail. Austin slingshots Rock forehead first into the post. He grabs a monitor and hits Rock in the face with it. They go back in the ring and Austin covers Rock for 2 ½. Austin with the double bird and Rock hits the Sharpshooter. Shades of WM XIII here. Rock drags Austin to the middle of the ring but Steve is able to reach the ropes. Rock tries the Shooter again but is eye poked and Austin now hooks the Shooter! Talk about psychology! Rock is able to get out of it and Austin tries the Shooter again and he locks it but Rock makes the ropes. Austin hooks the Million Dollar Dream and I think it’s the first time he’s used it since Canadian Stampede in July 1997. Rock is almost out of it and he kicks off the ropes and almost pins Austin. Rock hits the Stunner on Austin and he gets a 2 count. Vince McMahon now comes down to the ringside area. Rock hammers on Austin now and Austin gets a spinebuster for 2. Rock with a spinebuster of his own and he sets up the People’s Elbow and he hits it but Vince pulls Rock off of Austin! Rock goes after Vince now but he takes a Rock Bottom from Austin for 2 ½! Rock blocks the stunner and the ref is knocked to the outside. Austin hits a low blow. Austin tells Vince to grab a chair and Austin holds Rock and Vince whacks him with a chairshot. Vince wakes up the ref and puts him in the ring and Austin gets 2 ½!! Austin is getting very frustrated now so he tries to hit Rock with a chair but is Rock Bottomed instead. Rock hammers on Vince now but He takes the Stunner for 2 ½. Austin hits Rock with the chair but gets 2 ½. Austin is extremely frustrated now so he kills Rock with about 500 chair shots and he gets the pin at 28:06 to become the new WWF Champion and he shakes hands with his former enemy Vince McMahon turning him heel!! Oh well this was an awesome match with a hot crowd all the way thru ****3/4

 

Summary: WOW WOW WOW!! One of the greatest Pay Per Views of all time!! This is one of 3 Wrestlemanias that has it all! This is a MUST SEE PPV!!! HIGHEST RECOMMENDATIONS!!