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Nickrj’s rant for Royal Rumble 2000

 

The Royal Rumble and the Survivor Series are pretty much my favorite WWF events I love Battle Royals and Elimination Matches!

 

Live from Madison Square Garden in New York City on January 23rd 2000. As usual the winner of the Rumble gets a title shot at Wrestlemania.

 

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

 

Kurt Angle VS ???

Angle is new to the WWF and he’s been pretty impressive so the WWF gets a mystery partner thrown at him and it turns out to be Tazz making his debut!! Tazz pounds on Kurt and drops him over the top rope. Angle comes out of a suplex outside and gets one of his own on the aisleway which looks like a street tonight! Back in Angle gets a quick cover for 1 and he starts hammering on Tazz. Belly to Belly by Angle to some good heat. Angle goes to the top but Tazz crotches him and hits a superplex for 2 but Angle gets his foot on the ropes. Angle gets a small package for 2. German suplex for another 2. Tazz comes out of the fireman’s carry and does a waistlock takedown followed by 2 awesome suplexes and he hooks the choke sleeper hold for the submission at 3:16! Huge pop for that! Short match but very energenic **1/4 Angle is out now and he has to be stretchered out.

 

First Ever Tables Match: The Hardy Boyz VS The Dudley Boyz

Both members of the same team have to be put thru a table in this match. Those Damn Dudleys draw heat by announcing that their new hero is John Rocker (who made bad remarks about New York people). The Dudley attack the Hardy’s in the aisleway and they brawl in the ring. Buh Buh Ray Dudley hits a full nelson powerbomb on Jeff Hardy and he and D-Von bring out a table and set it in the ring. Matt saves his brother from crashing through the table. Jeff hits a cannonball on Buh Buh outside the ring. D-Von blocks and reverses a suplex as Jeff hits a chairshot on Buh Buh. He tries a flying maneuver and eats some table but he didn’t go thru it yet. Buh Buh sets Matt on the table but Matt hits a low blow and they double suplex Buh Buh but D-Von moved the table out of the way. Matt brings out a ladder and the Hardys use it on the Dudleys. Matt with a chairshot on Buh Buh. He sets Buh Buh on the table and sets the ladder but D-Von catches him and gets jumped off. The Hardys jump off and put Buh Buh thru the table! “Holy Sh*t!” chant starts. Jeff sets up another table over D-Von. Matt and Jeff fail to get D-Von thru the tables and they go thru the tables themselves but it has to be an offensive maneuver to end this match. The Dudleys put the steps in the ring and set up another table on it and Buh Buh powerbombs Jeff on it! They go out to the aisleway now and Buh Buh hits Matt with a chairshot. Buh Buh sets some tables on the entranceway and they set up Matt on the table. Buh Buh takes up to the balcony on top of the entrance way but Jeff hits a low blow on Buh Buh and hits 2 chair shots and Buh Buh goes thru 2 tables! Matt sets D-Von on the table and Jeff takes off his shirt and LEAPS OFF THE BALCONY AND CANNONBALLS D-VON THRU THE TABLE!!! And the Hardys win the match at 10:17. If Vince McMahon were calling this he’d say “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life!” and I would agree with him. ***3/4

 

Up next is the Swimsuit Competiton for Miss Rumble 2000. The judges are Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, The Fabulous Moolah, Johnny Valiant and Classie Freddy Blassie and the MC is Jerry The King Lawler who is just like Brock in the Pokemon cartoon when it comes to women. The participants are Ivory, Terri, Jacqueline, B.B, (JR says Barbara Bush) Luna, and The Kat (The Current Women’s champ at this point and Lawler’s real life Fiancee) Lawler announces Andy Richter as a special judge for the contest. Here we go.

 

First up is Ivory. She’s wearing a green thong bikini but doesn’t get much of a reaction. Terri is next and she’s wearing a gold swimsuit with the chest open. Jackie is next and she’s got one and she’s looking like a cowgirl and wearing as little as possible. B.B. has on a blue thong bikini and gets a good reaction. Luna chooses not to participate. Finally The Kat has on a bikini made of bubble wrap! Probably the King’s idea. J The judges make their vote and 80 year old Mae Young comes down to the ring. She declares herself a late entry and she wants everyone to see her puppies. Oh my god don’t tell me. The stripper starts playing in the music as Mae takes off her robe and has some fun with it. Then she OPENS UP HER PURPLE SWIMSUIT AND HER PUPPIES ARE EXPOSED. They try to censor it but we still see it in some shots. Mark Henry comes in the ring and covers up Mae. Mae is announced as the winner! My god why did they bother with Mae here?

 

IC Title Triple Threat Match: Chris Jericho VS Chyna VS Hardcore Holly

Chris and Chyna are co champions here so this match is to decide the undisputed champion. Holly controls but takes a hiptoss by Jericho. Jericho slaps Holly and Chyna nails both him and Jericho. Chyna is backdropped to the outside. Holly hits a dropkick on Chris. Chris hits a crossbody for 2 and they get into a chopfest. Chris runs into a foot and hooks the Walls of Jericho but Chyna breaks it up drawing some heat. Chyna clotheslines Holly to the outside but is caught by Chris. Chyna baseball slides Holly while Jericho hits a springboard bodypress on Holly. Chyna hits her handspring elbow and a DDT on Chris for 2. Chyna is thrown outside by Holly. Chyna low bridges Jericho and all 3 people are on the outside. Holly almost hits Chyna with a chair but Chyna dropkicks the chair into Holly. Chris and Chyna both go to the top and they hit bodypresses on Holly and almost get a double pin. Chris and Holly go at each other. Chyna low blows Jericho and hits the Pedigree on Holly for 2. Holly catches Chyna on top and Chris hits a crossbody for 2 on what looked like a Doomsday Device. Holly goes to the top but Chris catches him and Chyna drags them both off. Chyna hits a superplex on Holly but Holly rolls thru for 2. Holly hammers on Jericho as Chyna hits a chairhsot on Holly and hooks a Boston Crab but Chris breaks it and hits an asai moonsault on Chyna for the pin at 7:30 and Chris Jericho is the undisputed champion. Good matchup **1/2

 

Tag Team Title Match: The New Age Outlaws VS The Acolytes

The Lytes run into the ring and attack the Outlaws. Billy Gunn hits a dropkick on Bradshaw but it backslammed. Bradshaw hammers on Road Dogg now and tags Farooq. Faroor runs into a boot but hits a powerslam. He tries the Dominator but Billy makes the save. Dogg starts his jabs but is nailed by Bradshaw. 4 man brawl now erupts and Bradshaw hits the Clotheline from Hell on Gunn. Farooq spinebusts Dogg. Gunn pulls the ref outside and the ref is knocked down. The Lytes hits a powerbomb on Dogg but X-Pac comes into the ring and kicks Bradshaw but is dropped by Farooq. Gunn hits the Fameasser on Bradshaw and gets the pin at 2:35. Short match probally due to time constraints (Only an hour into the program already!) DUD.

 

WWF Title Street Fight Match: Triple H (with Stephanie McMahon Helmsley) VS Cactus Jack

A very heated feud as it was in 1997. These two had a street fight once before on Raw Is War on September 22nd 1997 at MSG and now they are doing it all over again! Triple H tells his wife Stephanie to go back to the locker room as she doesn’t want to watch this match at ringside. Staredown and slugfest to start. Jack pounds on Triple H in the corner. He hits a neckbreaker outside the ring. Jack hits a legdrop as Triple H tries to get back in. He rams him into the steps and into the ring bell. Triple H knocks down Jack with the bell. He brings a chair in the ring and really nails Jack with it!! Triple H tries to take off the turnbuckle pad but is nailed. Jack gets the chair and he legdrops the chair right into the face of Hunter for 2. Jack kicks Triple H to the outside and he is nailed. Triple H is backdropped into the audience however and they’re battling it out there. The go back into the entry way as Jack sets up some wooden palettes and he suplexes Triple H onto them. He grabs a trash can and hits Triple H with it. He throws Triple H into the steel door where the wrestlers come out of tonight. Triple H suplexes Cactus Jack onto the trash can though as I notice a deep gash in Triple H’s left calf. Blood is just coming out of it. Jack hits a knee onto the steps on Triple H. He grabs a 2X4 wrapped in barbed wire from underneath the ring. Triple H hits a low blow and grabs the wrapped board and hits him in the stomach and back several times. Jack stops him form another blow and low blows him with the board and the ref takes the barbed wire outside and is booed. Jack hits his double arm DDT for 2. Jack wonders where the board is and he grabs the ref. He goes outside and nails a Spanish announcer and gets the wrapped board and Triple H runs into the ref and Jack nails Triple H in the face with the barbed wire!! He hits a running shot with the wire for 2 as Triple H is now busted open from the forehead now. Another shot with the barbed wire by Jack!! He is raking the face with the barbed wire now! Triple H is really bleeding now. They go to the announce table with JR and King and Jack tries a piledriver on the table but is backdropped thru the table! Triple H is bleeding all over the place now. They go back in the ring and Triple H hammers on Jack now and sets up the pedigree but is dropped and slingshoted into the post. Jack hits a bulldog into the barbed wire for 2. Jack clotheslines both men to the outside. Jack is sent knee first into the steel steps. Triple H throws Jack into the steps hard. He hits a chopblock. Back in the ring Triple H hits another chopblock and grabs the barbed wire and hits Jack right in the leg in it. Triple H goes to the outside and grabs some handcuffs but he is nailed by Jack. Triple H comes back and cuffs Jack’s arms together. Jack is defenseless now and takes show shots. Triple H takes the steel steps and puts them in the ring. Jack drop toe holds Triple H into the steps. He kicks Triple H and hits a low blow. Jack now bites on Triple H’s ear but is nailed by Triple H. Triple H grabs a chair and breaks it over Jack’s back. Jack tries to run out on the aisleway but Triple H nails him with the chair again. Jack asks for another shot and The Rock comes out and nails Triple H with a chair of his own!! A cop comes out and frees Jack from the cuffs. Jack hammers Triple H back towards the ring now. They are now on top of the Spanish announce table and Jack piledrives Triple H  onto it. Jack grabs a bag from underneath the ring and produces a bunch of thumbtacks. Shades of KOTR 1998 here. Stephanie comes down to the ring to try to stop it. Jack tries to knock Triple H into the tacks but Jack is backdropped onto it!! Triple H hits the Pedigree but he gets 2!!! Triple H can’t believe it! He does another Pedigree on the thumbtacks and pins Cactus Jack at 26:48. What an awesome match! Pretty similar to the first Hell In A Cell match. ****3/4. I deducted 1/4* because this match is probally the most violent I’ve ever seen (including the HIAC matches) so it’s not for everybody. Triple H has to be stretchered out. Jack brings him back out and is rammed into the apron. He nails Triple H with the barbed wire one last time.

 

30 Man Royal Rumble Match

We’ve got intervals of 90 seconds this year. D-Lo Brown has drawn #1 and Grandmaster Sexay (Brian Christopher) is #2. Brown hammers on Sexay to start it off. Sexay comes back with a dropkick to the gut and a snapmare. One foot dropkick by Brown and a running powerbomb is countered into an enzuguri. Sexay hits a 2nd rope dropkick to the neck and almost throws Brown out but he lands on the apron. Headbanger Mosh is #3. He hammers on Sexay. Kaientai (Taka Michinoku and Sho Funaki) come in the ring illegally but they are thrown out. Serves them right. The King thinks these guys are Chinese but they are actually Japanese. Mosh hammers on both Brown and Sexay but he takes a tiger bomb by Brown. Sexay hits a bulldog. Brown hits a vertical suplex on Sexay. Christian is #4 but he’s caught by Mosh. Christian hits a slop drop type move. He runs into a kick by Sexay. Mosh tries to get Brown out. Christian tries to do the same. #5 is Rikishi!! He throws Mosh out! He Belly to Belly’s Christian and tosses him out. Brown hits a neckbreaker though followed by a legdrop which Rikishi no sells and he piledrives Brown and tosses him out. Down to Sexay and Rikishi now. They almost go at it. Scotty 2 Hotty (Scott Taylor) is #6 and now we have all 3 members of Too Cool in the ring. They start to do some nice dance moves but Rikishi clotheslines both of Sexay and Scotty and he dumps them both out leaving Rikishi all by himself in the ring. #7 is Steve Blackman and he hits some kicks. “Blackman sucks” chant goes out and Rikishi hits another of his piledrivers and tosses out Blackman to a big pop. #8 is Viscera (Mabel). They slug it out and Mabel hits a belly to belly suplex and a legdrop. He hits an avalanche on Rikishi and some kicks. Viscera misses an avalanche and Rikishi hits a series of superkicks and he dumps out Viscera. #9 is the Big Boss Man. He decides to stall outside the ring. Yawn. #10 is Test who gets a big pop and he pounds on Boss Man outside the ring but is rammed into the post and he reverses a piledriver. They go in the ring now. Test goes after Rikishi but is low blowed by Boss Man who is low blowed by Rikishi. The British Bulldog (R.I.P) is #11 and he goes after Rikishi. Test hits a big boot on Boss Man. Rikishi is low blowed by the Bulldog as Boss Man tries to get Test out and Bulldog tries to get Rikishi out. #12 is Gangrel. He does his ceremony and is caught by Test and Boss Man. Kaientai comes back in the ring again and they are dumped out again. These guys are feisty aren’t they? Taka is dumped on his face and has to be taken to a hospital. Gangrel and Test pound on Rikishi. #13 is Edge. He goes after the Boss Man. He is almost dumped out already by Bulldog. Rikishi goes to the 2nd rope and hits a Banzai drop on Boss Man. Test and Edge look alike don’t they? #14 is Bob Backlund who gets a huge pop. He is caught by Bulldog and Boss Man. Rikishi misses an avalanche and everybody eliminates Rikishi!!. Crowd not happy with that. Gangrel tries to get Edge out. #15 is Chris Jericho. He goes after Edge but is caught by Bulldog. Jericho dropkicks Backlund out. Backlund goes thru the audience. #16 is Crash Holly. He goes after Bulldog and is almost backdropped out. Bulldog almost has Edge out and takes a low blow. #17 is Chyna!! She goes after Test and Chris and kicks away at him but she is backdropped to the apron and she suplexes Jericho out but then is knocked off and out of the match by Boss Man. #18 is Farooq but the Mean Street Posse come out and pound on Farooq and Boss Man dumps him out. #19 is Road Dogg who pounds on Test but is knocked down by a low blow. Crowd is chanting “We want Rocky.” And I don’t blame them. Crash is almost dumped out again. #20 is Al Snow who goes after Crash. Road Dogg eliminates Bulldog and we find out who’s the better dog. J Edge gets a cross body on Boss Man. #21 is Val Venis. He goes after Test. Funaki comes out again and he’s thrown outside again. King thinks these guys are Chinese again and they show the replay of Taka landing on his face again. #22 is Prince Albert. Edge is backdropped out by Venis. Albert kicks away at Gangrel and he drops Crash down hard. #23 is Hardcore Holly who goes after poor Test as well. Too many guys in there now. Crash is almost thrown out again. #24 is The Rock who gets a big time pop!! He goes after Boss Man and knocks him out of the match. Hardcore kicks away at Rock and almost dumps him out. #25 is Billy Gunn who goes after the Rock. Rock hits a DDT on Crash and dumps him out. #26 is The Big Show and I expect bodies to fly now. He climbs in the ring and is greeted by the Rock. He gets out however and eliminates Test and Gangrel. Big Show tosses Rock across the ring and he press slams Hardcore. #27 is Bradshaw. He goes after Road Dogg but is caught by the Posse. He dumps them out but is thrown out by the Outlaws. A brawl erupts between the Acolytes and the Posse. Snow kicks away at Rock now. #28 is Kane who comes out with a BANG!! He’s caught by Venis but he chokesslams him out of the ring and the match. The Godfather is #29 and he brings his hos with him. Kane eliminates Albert. Funaki is back in the ring again and for the 1,534th time in this match he’s dumped out. They show the replay of Taka landing on his face for the 4th time and King hits the quote of the night

 

King: Do they have any Chinese hospitals in New York?

JR: Will you stop that?

 

Shades of Gorilla and Bobby here. X-Pac is the last entrant. He goes for the Rock. Hardcore is eliminated by Snow. Big Show eliminates Godfather. Rock gets rid of Snow. Billy Gunn gets rid of his partner Road Dogg and Kane eliminates Gunn. Down to four men Kane, Rock, X-Pac and Big Show. Rock throws out X but the refs are with Kane and Gunn outside (Kane went under the bottom rope) Kane goes after X as Big Show tries to get Rock over. Kane and Big Show almost get chokeslams and Kane hits an enzuguri!! And he slams Show but is kicked out by X-Pac. X does the Bronco Buster on Big Show but he is press slammed out by Show. Down to 2. Rock hammers on Big Show and hits a Spinebuster and hits the People’s Elbow. He tries to dump him but the Show comes back with his chokeslam to some big heat. Big Show has Rock on his shoulder and tries to dump him but the Rock holds on the top rope and the Big Show is dumped out!! The Rock wins it at 51:48. Good Rumble but it was boring at times ***3/4. The Big Show is mad however and he comes back in the ring and dumps out Rock. “Asshole” chant for that.

 

Summary: Well this PPV Rocked!! It seems like whenever there’s a PPV at MSG. The wrestlers turn it up a notch. This is no exception. Hopefully the Survivor Series in a couple of weeks from MSG will be the same. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED