Nickrjís rant for Royal Rumble 1992

 

The WWF title was vacant and it would be put up in this years Royal Rumble. 30 Superstars will have a chance to win the biggest prize in the WWF! Here we go!

 

Live from The Knickerbocker Arena from Albany, New York on January 19th 1992.

 

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and the biggest Ric Flair mark, Bobby Heenan! I did another rant with quotes from Bobby Heenan to show you how funny he is. Now Iím going to do this rant to show you how great of a team he and Gorilla were by adding quotes from both men.

 

The New Foundation (Jim Neidhart and Owen Hart) VS The Orient Express (with Mr. Fuji)

 

Bobby: Well I think that headband is a little too tight around Neidhartís head. The rocketís got to be half nuts hanging around a guy whoís full nuts in the Anvil

Gorilla: Will you be serious?

 

Bobby: Look at the New Foundation they mustíve just got up.

Gorilla: What do you mean just got up?

Bobby: Theyíve still got their pajamas on.

Gorilla: Iím going to tell them you said that.

Bobby: I donít care. Iím really nervous because in a few short minutes when Ric Flair walks down that aisle heís going to come back with the gold.

Gorilla: What number did he draw?

Bobby: Iím not sure. Iíve been stuck with you all day.

Gorilla: Drawing was held several hours ago how come you donít know what number heís got?

Bobby: Well Iíve been busy.

 

Owen starts it off with Kato and some nice maneuvers while working on the right arm. Nice backflip by Owen and he gets an armdrag. Owen works over the right arm but Kato breaks it for a 2 count. Owen gets out of it and does a top rope into a hiptoss. Gorilla says that Marty Jannetty and Brian Knobs are injured and cannot compete in the Rumble match and so they are replaced by Nikolai Volkoff and Haku respectivelly. Bobby says it adds a different dimension to the rumble. Gorilla says anyone can walk out as the new WWF champion but Bobby says only one man will

 

Gorilla: Odds on favorite has to be the Hulkster. Didnít he win it last year? The year before?

Bobby: Hogan might be the favorite to the humanoid contingent.

 

A hurricurana gets 2. Jim gets tagged in and he works on the right arm now.

 

Bobby: (Anvil) is as goofy as a bedbug.

 

He gets a hiptoss and hammers on Kato. He throws him down by the throat and Kato tags Tanaka.

 

Gorilla: How are you going to deal with the power of the Anvil?
Bobby: Cause heís nuts!

Gorilla: When his adreleane gets flowing, how are you going to deal with his power?

Bobby: Heís nuts!

Gorilla: He is not.

Bobby: Heís got papers to prove it.

 

Tanaka canít slam the Anvil because heís JUST TOO FAT! Owen gets the tag back in and a nice double team maneuver gets 2. Back breaker for another 2. Tanaka works over Owen in the corner but Owen gets a backdrop and a reverse enzuguri. Gorilla says that Bret Hart tried to defend the IC title against the Mountie with a 104 degree fever and lost the title. Piper tried to make the save and he got beat up as well.

 

Bobby: First of all he had a 104 temperature. Iíve wrestled with 113 temperature thatís no big deal.

Gorilla: What? Will you be serious?

 

Shouldertackle by the Anvil but heís jumped from behind. He comes back with a double clothesline and Owen is tagged again and he cross bodies both Orients for 2. Gorilla says that he has a chance to win not one but two titles today.

 

Bobby: Piper doesnít deserve to win two titles. He shouldnít even be in the rumble.

 

Spinning heel kick on Kato for 2. Suplex for 2.

 

Owen goes to the chinlock and Kato rolls out of the ring. Smart move. Owen tries to get the crowd pumped and he goes to a side headlock but is kicked in the head by Tanaka and Fuji gets a cheapshot with his cane.

 

Gorilla: The pendulum swings.

Bobby: Like the pendulum do.

Gorilla: Is that a tune?

Bobby: No I donít hear any music.

 

Bobby: Can I go to the back and find out what number Ric Flair has?

Gorilla: No you canít leave here. Youíre a broadcast journalist.

Bobby: Iíd love to let my public know.

Gorilla: I hope he got number one.

Bobby: Since he is the real worldís champion. He shouldnít have to be in the rumble the winner of the rumble should face him. That would be fair. If you want to be fair to Flairó

Gorilla: Donít start with that fair to Flair to me. He shouldíve gotten number one.

Bobby: That wouldnít be fair. What would be fair is if he got 31.

 

Tanaka goes to the chinlock now and gets some thrust shots. Kato is backed in and gets a cresent kick for 2. Flying elbow for 2. Double team and Owen is clotheslined on the top rope. Tanaka with a cresent kick in the corner for 2.

 

Bobby: Very slow count.

Gorilla: At least the refís consistent.

Bobby: Yeah he does everything wrong.

 

Kato with a snapmare into the chinlock. Crucifix by Owen gets 2. Tanaka back in and he hits another kick and Gorilla mentions the Midnight Express.

 

Gorilla: Low headbutt to the lower abdomen and maybe even lower.

Bobby: Then it would be the kneecapÖor in that areaÖgive or takeó

Gorilla: Forget it.

 

Chinlock by Tanaka. Owen fights back but takes a flying clothesline for 2. Owen kicks Tanaka in the corner and a flying clothesline. Jim gets the tag but the ref doesnít see it and the OE take advantage by throwing Owen into Fujiís cane in the corner for 2. Slam right on Owenís arm by Kato. Tanaka is in and hits a flying headbutt. Belly to Belly by Owen but Kato makes the save. Kato comes in and nails Jim and allows another double team for 2. Bobby says that Neidhart should wear a straight jacket because heís nuts! Kick by Kato and another double team move for 2. Owen hits a double drop kick on both OE and gets the hot tag to Neidhart.

 

Bobby: The Anvil has gone nuts.

 

Flying shoulderblock onto both OE. Backdrop on Tanaka and a clothesline. Owen with a flying bodypress on Kato outside and the New Foundation hit the Rocket Launcher on Tanaka for the pin at 17:17. Good match for an opener **3/4

 

IC Title Match: The Mountie (With Jimmy Hart) VS Rowdy Roddy Piper

The Mountie won the IC title two nights ago from Bret Hart during a house show because Bret had a 104 degree fever and was unable to defend it here tonight so The Mountie beats Bret for the title and has to defend it tonight.

 

Bobby: What a disgrace that Piper has a chance to represent the WWF IC title wearing a skirt!

 

Piper has a chance to win two titles here tonight because heís in the Royal Rumble later on and itís the first time this opportunity has been given.

 

Gorilla: Jimmyís got that megaphone agtagonizeing everyone.

Bobby: First admendment. Freedom of Speech. I have that right as a broadcast journalist.

Gorilla: You have what right?

Bobby: I can talk as long as I want.

 

Piper goes crazy on Mountie to start. Mounties slides outside but heís nailed again. He takes advatange outside though and chokes him on the ropes. Double leapfrog but Piper blocks a monkeyflip. Bulldog by Piper for 2. Piper starts to work on the right leg and pokes him in the eye.

 

Bobby: Piper could blow two titles Gorilla.

Gorilla: How could he. He doesnít have a title.

Bobby: Then he canít win two titles.

Gorilla: Yes he can.

Bobby: Maybe he wonító Will you quit confusing me?

Gorilla: As long as youíre with me you donít have any rights.

Bobby: Can I find out what number?

Gorilla: Youíre not going anywhere? I think itís number one.

Bobby: How do you like a diet drink or a hot dog? Heavy on the onion?

Gorilla: No.

 

They start slugging it out but Piper misses a dropkick.

 

Bobby: Mountie shouldíve won this match by forfeit.

Gorilla: How do you know? Where you there the other night? No! How do you know.

Bobby: He stuck is nose where he donít belong.

Gorilla: You were with me.

Bobby: I donít like being with you.

Gorilla: Thatís too bad. Biggest mistake was Bret wrestling with 104 temperature.

Bobby: What a competitor. What a gutsy guy.

Gorilla: You know how Bret gives in his all for all his matches? He made a big mistake.

Bobby: What an idiot. But I had 113 temperature. I ate a little bit but I felt okay.

Gorilla: Get a life Brain! At 113 youíd be dead.

Bobby: I took a half bottle of St. Joesphís asprin for children. Knocked it right out of me. The Orange flavored ones.

Gorilla: Childrenís Bayer?

Bobby: What a flimsey excuse that Bret had 104 temperature. Does Piper have a 300 temperature today?

 

Collar tie up by Mountie and he rams him in the corner. Mountie bites Piper and hits a flying elbow for 2. Mountie throws Piper to the outside. Sunset flip by Piper for 2. Piper is thrown to the outside but comes back in and hammers on Mountie. Backdrop by Piper followed by a gutshot and a an atomic drop but Mountie brings himself back in and he inadvertanly nails Jimmy Hart and Piper hooks the Sleeper and puts out Mountie at 5:18 to win the IC title and he gets a HUGE pop!

 

Bobby: He choked the guy completely out!

Gorilla: He did not he used the sleeper.

 

Piper then uses the Mountieís own shockstick on him for fun! Match gets 3/4* but this was Piperís first title win after being one of the WWFís big players in the mid 80ís so this is a historic moment.

 

The Bushwhackers (with Jameson) VS The Beverly Brothers (with The Genius)

Oh boy. After that historic moment we get this match. This match is because the Genius attacked Jameson who is a disgusting nerd. The Whackers and Jamison want revenge.

 

Bobby: I saw Jameson earlier and he reeked with the stench of sardines.

Gorilla: He did not!

Bobby: Jameson wants one minute with the Genius. He wouldnít last five seconds.

 

Funny sign ďOn the 8th day, God created Gorilla Monsoon.Ē

 

Bobby: Looks like Jameson hasnít washed his hair in 6 years. Who dresses him the state?

Gorilla: I think the Bushwhackers have adopted Jameson.

Bobby: What happened did their dog die? Jamesonís parents never got a divorce.

Gorilla: What do you mean?

Bobby: Nobody wanted custody of that moron.

Gorilla: Will you be serious?

 

The Whackers stall to start.

 

Bobby: Jameson used to come home from school and find out that his parents have moved.

Gorilla: Will you stop?!!

Bobby: They used to wrap his lunch in a robe mat.

Gorilla: Iíll have you taken out of here.

Bobby: Could I run to the back.

Gorilla: Youíre getting a little paranoid of what number Flair has.

Bobby: Iíll give you my word.

Gorilla: Your word isnít any good.

Bobby: Can I get you a diet drink? Popcorn? Hot dog?

Gorilla: If I want something Iíll have it brought up here.

 

Butch licks his partner and they are afraid to wrestle the Bevís. Finally after 2 minutes they chase the Bevís out of the ring. Bo Beverly finally attacks Butch to start the match.

 

Bobby: The thing about wrestling the Whackers is that you have to have everything youíve got on humidated.

Gorilla: You do not!

 

Butch then bites Boís ass (Bobby: Greco Roman Biting.) and the Whackers hit a double clothesline. Yawn. Genius goes after Jamison.

 

Bobby: What good that hasnít been said you moron?

Gorilla: Will you be serious?

 

Whackers do some more yaying. Blake gets the tag and some more stalling occurs. Bobby wants to be the president of the WWF instead of Jack Tunney. Jamison blows his nose with his sock and Bobby calls him a pig. Thatís more interesting than this match thus far.

 

Bobby: You can always tell when the Bushwhackers are wrestling because there are 400 to 500 cats in the building.

 

Blake attacks Butch now. Butch comes back with a kneegut and a face slam. All 4 men are in and the Bevís are rammed and tripped. The whackerís clear the ring. The Bevís try sneak attacking the Whackers but that doesnít work either! YAWN!

 

Bobby: Are those tattoos or do they just draw on themselves?

Gorilla: They do not.

Bobby: Is the Beverly going to be here? Beverly Como?

Gorilla: Iím not sure.

Bobby: Iíll introduce you to his brother Perry?

Gorilla: Will you stop?!!

Bobby: How do you prepare to wrestle the Bushwhackers? Youíve got Jameson that human trash can whoís got scum in his hair heís rude and vulgar and the Bushwhackers who are living proof that the Three Stooges did have children.

Gorilla: Iím going to have you taken out of there and locked up so you canít find out what number Flair has got. Youíre upset because youíve retired as a manager and canít manage the Bushwhackers.

Bobby: WHAT?!! Iíd like to manage the Bushwhackers to an electric chair. Imagine the smell of sardines flying? I can call Jameson a nuisance.

 

Blake bails out of the ring again and heís nailed by Butch. The Bevís hit a double axhandle though and Gorilla and Bobby are pretty much ignoring this match and I donít blame them. Luke is being double teamed in the corner. Blake hits a backbreaker and hits a flying headbutt for 2. Crowd is dying now after being hot for the first 2 matches. Double team by the Bevís Kneedrop by Bo. Luke counters a headdown though but Blake gets the tag.

 

Gorilla: I think Jameson needs one of those Bushwhacker outfits.

Bobby: I think he needs to be put to sleep.

Gorilla: Will you stop?

 

He drops Luke on the top rope. Clothesline by Blake and Bo gets the tag.

 

Bobby: Looking at Jameson I can tell he wears old designer clothes. Marquee D Slum of Newardyís.

Gorilla: Always ready to make fun of someone.

Bobby: He wants to leech off the government and take my money. I payed almost $200.

Gorilla: Will you stop?!!

Bobby: He went to the beach at Coney Island and left a ring around the Altlantic Ocean.

Gorilla: Iím going to leave a ring around your neck in a moment.

 

Luke rolls up Bo for 2 and heís thrown outside the ring.

 

Bobby: Look thereís a sign ďBe Fair To Flair.Ē
Gorilla: Donít start.

Bobby: Thatís what the sign says. Guy showed that he was fair to Flair. He brought the sign that said Be Fair To Flair.

 

Genius goes over and nails Jamison!

 

Bobby: Wash your hand Genius.

Jameson: He hitted me! He hitted me hard!

Bobby: He didnít hit you hard enough youíre still breathing.

 

Geez Jameson doesnít know English either. Double axhandle by Blake for 2. Címon end this crap already. Neckbreaker and a legdrop for 2. Bo comes in and is clotheslined in the corner. Butch gets the ďhotĒ tag and works on the Bevís. Battering ram sends Blake to the outside and a tackle gets 2. Butch is tripped by Bo and Blake hits an elbow for 2. Geez I thought it was over there. The Bevís double team Butch and get the pin at 14:57. Jesus why did they decide to give this match 15 minutes? What a horrible match. -***1/2 The Whackers attack the Genius and the Bevís after the match and Jameson gets revenge by getting some kicks to the shin. They put the Geniusí hat on Jameson and Gorilla says ďThereís your Genius.Ē Yeah right.

 

Tag Team Title Match: The Legion Of Doom VS The Natural Disasters (with Jimmy Hart)

Iím surprised that during the LOD interview Hawk doesnít go ďAAAAAAH WHAT A RUSH!Ē

 

Bobby: Those shoulder spikes are lethal you can poke an eye out. Itís obvious with those haircuts they donít care.

Gorilla: Will you keep quiet?

 

Hawk starts with Typhoon as Bobby taunts Hawk. They tie up a couple of times. Shoulderblock doesnít move Typhoon but Hawk gets a flying clothesline for 2. Earthquake comes in now and Earthquake misses a dropkick (!) Animal is in now and he staresdown at Quake. They slug it out and clothesline each other. Animal tries to slam Quake but Quake is JUST TOO FAT! Typhoon hits an avalanche but is kicked in the other corner and clotheslined. Hawk comes in now and hits a fistdrop and no sells a clothesline. Typhoon does the same catches Hawk and gives him 2 back breakers. He throws Hawk in the corner and tags Quake. He hits an elbow to the back for 2. Typhoon is back in and sits on the back and a crotch splash. Bear hug now by Typhoon. Yawn. Hawk breaks out but is caught. Quake comes in and works on the lower back. Bear hug again by Quake.

 

Bobby: (To one of his men.) Psst. Hey go into the back and ask foró

Gorilla: Get this guy out of here he has no business being there.

Bobby: He works for me. Iíll give you three bucks.

Gorilla: Three bucks? Boy are you paranoid.

 

He misses an avalanche and is nailed. Animal gets the hot tag and hits a flying tackle. Typhonn comes in and they double team but Animal hits a double clothesline. All 4 men are outside and they brawl. Typhoon goes back in the ring and the bell rings at 9:23. The Natural Disasters win by countout. What? Quake was the legal man. Both teams shouldíve been counted out. Bad match and ending. 1/4*

 

Afterwards the Disasters throw a tantrum in the locker room because they didnít win the tag titles! Hey donít they know the rules like they did at Wrestlemania VIII? Theyíre just two big fat idiots.

 

Piper celebrates his new IC title and now heís going to try to win the WWF title! He dedicates the Rumble match to his son Colt

 

Shawn Michaels is interviewed after recently turning heel by throwing Marty Jannetty through the window of the Barber Shop. Jannetty is knocked out of the rumble as a result and I think this is the first time we see Shawn as the Heartbreak Kid!

 

Ric Flair is interviewed by Alfred Hayes who reveals that he drew #3 but it doesnít matter to him.

 

Now for other interviews. SAVAGE (who wants to win the title and get his hands on Jake the Snake Roberts), JUSTICE, BULLDOG, ROBERTS (who was an awesome heel at the time), UNDERTAKER, HOGAN!!

 

30 Man Royal Rumble for the vacant WWF title

Bobbyís starting to get nervous now wondering what number his man got (although we already know!)

 

Howard Finkel: And at this time. To make a brief statement prior to the rumbleís beginning. It gives me great a great deal of pleasure to introduce to you the esteemed president of the World Wrestling Federation. Mr. Jack Tunney! (Crowd boos!)

Bobby: Olí Jack on the tape Tunney.

Gorilla: Quiet!

Tunney: Thank you very much Howard. I would like to take this opportunity to officially welcome everyone who is watching this spectacular event with us. This is a very big undertaking for the WWF. The winner of the Róuh This event will not only have the prestige of beating 29 other men but also be declared the undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion.

Bobby: (Impatient) Come on letís go!

Gorilla: Keep your pants on.

Tunney: I would like to say in closing may the best man win! (Bobby: Yeah yeah yeah.) Thank you.

Howard: Thank you Mr. President.

Bobby: Heís been the best president since Noriega.

Gorilla: Will you be serious?

 

The British Bulldog gets #1 (Bobby breathes a sigh of relief.) and Ted Dibiase gets #2. They slug it out to start but Bulldog runs into an elbow. Clothesline by Dibiase. Suplex by Ted followed by a gut wrench suplex and an elbow. Another suplex by Dibiase and he tosses Bulldog but Bulldog lands on the apron and clotheslines Dibiase over the top rope and out of the match! You couldíve done better than that Teddy Címon!

 

(The clock is counting down to #3)

Gorilla: There goes the buzzer. (Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect come out.)

Bobby: NO!!!!!!

Gorilla: Oh yes!!

Bobby: DAMMIT!!!

Gorilla: Itís Ric Flair! Well you can kiss it goodbye Brain. Never before in the history of the Royal Rumble has someone drawn numbers 1-5 and been there at the end. Watch your language. Sit down before you have a heart attack.

Bobby: (Suddenly Calm) Thatís ok. I know Perfectís got him ready. Heís confident.

Gorilla: Did you hear what I just said?

Bobby: What?

Gorilla: Never before in the history of the Royal Rumble has someone drawn numbers 1-5 and been there at the end.

Bobby: Oh shut up! Come on Ric! Iím going to have to be objective.

Gorilla: When have you ever been objective?

 

Bulldog gets a press slam and Flairís already hurting. He comes back but takes a clothesline. Flair gets an eye poke but takes another clothesline and is almost out. #4 is Jerry Sags of the Nasty Boys. Bulldog does the 10 punch count on Flair but heís nailed by Sags who goes to work.

 

Bobby: I stand a chance of making a fortune here.

Gorilla: Or losing one.

 

They double team on Davey. Bulldog comes back with a double clothesline and he tosses Sags almost out. Sags turns his back and is dropkicked out! Back to Bulldog and Flair and Bobby says ďThis is not fair to Flair!Ē Flair gets some chops but takes a powerslam. Haku is #5 another of Heenanís men. He attacks the Bulldog and they double team Bulldog just like a moment ago. Haku turns on Flair though and Flair backs off on Haku and slides under the bottom rope to take a breather but he gets back in. Piledriver by Haku on the Bulldog but heís stopped cold by Flair.

 

Bobby: Whereís Perfect.

Gorilla: Managers arenít allowed at ringside.

Bobby: Heís an executive consultant.

Gorilla: Same thing. A pest.

 

Haku is dumped out by Bulldog as Shawn Michaels is #6 with some pretty big heat. He is greeted rudely by Flair but he starts hammering away and hits his superkick which wasnít as effective at this point. Powerslam by Bulldog on Shawn and Shawn is almost out. Eye poke by Shawn who was almost dumped out by Flair. Bulldog and Shawn replay the same spot they did in the 1995 rumble (not the ending though). Tito Santana is #7 as El Matador who goes right after Flair and almost has him out but is stopped by Shawn.

 

Bobby: Shawn Michaels is making guacamole out of El Matador.

Gorilla: He is not!

Bobby: Look at the tights theyíre green.

 

Bulldog tries to get Shawn out as Flair hits a back suplex on Tito. Flair with a low blow on Bulldog drawing some heat.

 

Bobby: Iíd do that to my grandmother if I had to.

Gorilla: Iím sure you would.

 

He almost has Bulldog but is stopped by Tito and Tito hits his flying jalapeno. #8 is The Barbarian and he goes after Bulldog.

 

Gorilla: Barbarian doesnít like Flair.

Bobby: Barbarian doesnít like anyone. When I managed him he barely liked me.

 

Chops at the same time by Flair and Barbie on different people. They try to get Bulldog out but canít. Tito and Shawn have been going at it pretty good and they would face at Wrestlemania. Tito and Bulldog double team Barbie. Shawn is almost dumped out again. The Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich is #9 and he goes after his old nemesis Ric Flair. He hits the discus punch and Flair does his patented flop. Slingshot by the Bulldog on Shawn and a clothesline.

 

Bobby: The best way to go in is you go to the ring and carry a big cresent wrench.

Gorilla: Will you stop?

Bobby: Remember your feet have to touch the ground after being thrown over the top rope.

Gorilla: I know the rules.

Bobby: I want to make sure you know them. Just call the action and stay off my case.

 

Reverse atomic drop by Flair on Tornado. Barbie almost has Santana out. But Tito comes back and hammers on Flair. #10 is Repo Man and wonders where the ring is. 7 men are in the ring now as Repo goes after Shawn. High cross body by Tito on Barbie but there are no pinfalls. Barbie and Flair double team Tornado. #11 is Greg Valentine who put up a great effort one year earlier. He goes after Flair in another old school match and Flair does another flop.

 

Bobby: Still to come. Randy Savage, Sgt. Slaughter, The Undertaker, Hulk Hogan all former WWF champions.

Gorilla: What about the reigning IC champion, Rowdy Roddy Piper?

Bobby: I was about to say it.

 

Bulldog and Valentine double team Flair.

 

Gorilla: If Valentine repeats is 45 minute performance of last year then he would be the winner right?

Bobby: Right.

Gorilla: And Flair would be the loser right?

Bobby: Right. NO!!

Gorilla: And so will a lot of other people.

 

Low kick by Flair on Repo. #12 is Nikolai Volkoff who lumbers around to the ring. He goes after Barbie.

 

Bobby: Davey Boy back on Flair again. This is not right.

Gorilla: I think itís fair.

Bobby: Not to Flair.

 

Heís double teamed by Barbie and Repo has Valentine hooks the Figure Four on Flair and Repo dumps out Volkoff. #13 is the Big Boss Man who goes after everyone. Valentine is dumped by Repo. Boss Man dumps out Repo.

 

Bobby: I got to go to ringside Monsoon.

Gorilla: Youíre not going anywhere you stay here.

 

Flair dumps out Bulldog after 23 Ĺ minutes and he dumps out Tornado as well. #14 is Hercules as Shawn and Tito eliminate each other. Herc goes after Flair but lets go. Flair and Barbie high five but Flair suckers him. Press Slam by Barbie and he tries to get Flair out but Herc dumps out Barbie. Boss Man dumps out Herc and Flair and Boss Man are the only two left and Boss Man hits a clothesline but he dumps out Boss Man who misses a charge. Flair is alone and Bobby thinks heís the winner but weíre only at #14. #15 is Roddy Piper who has an issue with Flair and he goes crazy on Ric. Ric goes out thru the bottom but Piper does the same and they hammer on each other. 10 punch count by Piper but heís caught and eyepoked. Sleeper by Piper. Jake Roberts is #16 who sits in the corner and taunts Piper and then goes after him. Jake grabs Flair and hits the short clothesline and sets him up for the DDT but is saved by Piper!

 

Bobby: Iíd never thought Iíd say this but thank you Piper. Thank you. Itís a kilt. Itís not a skirt itís a kilt.

 

Flair hooks the Figure Four on Jake but Piper nails Flair.

 

Bobby: Well you no good creep. You skirt wearing freak! Itís not a kilt itís a skirt.

 

They chop on each other now and Jake almost has Piper out. #17 is Hacksaw Jim Duggan. He goes after Flair as well. He then goes after Piper. Back suplex by Flair on Piper. Inverted Atmoic Drop from Jake on Flair. #18 is Irwin R. Schyster who takes the slow walk. He goes after Flair as well. Duggan grabs the tie and hammers him. #19 is Jimmy Snuka.

 

Bobby: Heís jogging. Heís wasting energy.

Gorilla: He is not.

Bobby: I donít know what Iím saying anymore.

 

He goes after Duggan and Flair. IRS and Jake try to get Piper out. Piper chops away on Flair and almost dumps him out. Jake almost dumps him out too. #20 is The Undertaker. Piper try to get IRS out. UT gets in and throws out Snuka and chokes down Flair in the corner. Bobby thinks itís over for Flair. Duggan makes the save but takes a low kick. Piper pokes Jake and tries to get him out. Randy Savage is #21 and Jake bails out under the ropes. UT nails Savage though and Jake climbs back in. Jake hammers on Jake but misses the short clothesline and Savage hits a double axhandle and knees Jake out but leaps over the top rope to continue the assault. UT comes out under the bottom rope to make the save and he throws UT back in? Savage goes after Jake some more but is beaten up by UT who throws him back in. Gorilla says that someone else has to dump Savage out to be eliminated. Why wasnít that a rule in other Rumbles? UT tries to get Duggan out and Flair is now in the match for 40 minutes. #22 is The Bezerker who comes down with a ďHussĒ chant. He goes after UT and IRSí foot is caught in the ropes. UT chokes Piper down in the corner as Flair and IRS double team Savage. Savage suplexes Flair back in and UT and Duggan double team on Flair. #23 is Virgil who goes after IRS because thereís no Dibiase but he is double teamed immediately.

 

Bobby: Former Million dollar champion right Monsoon?

Gorilla: Absolutely.

Bobby: Of course he stole it.

Gorilla: He did not!

Bobby: Now Virgil was #23 right?

Gorilla: Right.

Bobby: Who knows how many bags heís gone through in the back?

Gorilla: Oh will you stop?!!

 

UT chokes down Flair again and almost has him out. #24 is Col. Mustafa (The Iron Sheik). He goes after Duggan. Gorilla calls Flair ďMartelĒ momentarily. 10 punch count by Piper on Flair but UT pulls down Piper. #25 is Rick Martel. He tries to get Virgil out but is stopped by Flair. IRS and Martel try to get Flair out as Col. Mustafa is dumped out by Savage. Duggan starts a USA chant. #26 is Hulk Hogan who gets a huge pop. He comes in and goes after UT and Flair.

 

Bobby: Please let him win it. Iím sorry for everything Iíve done and said. Please let him win it.

Gorilla: Will you stop begging?

 

Bezerker and UT double team Hogan and IRS joins in. UT is clotheslined out and he dumps out Bezerker as well and he tears up his shirt and uses it on Martel. Duggan and Virgil are dumped out together. #27 is Skinner who goes after Piper and Hogan almost has Flair out but is stopped by Irwin. Bobby continues to beg for mercy. Flair and Martel try to get Piper out and Piper is nearing a half hour and Flair is now in there for 52 minutes.

 

Bobby: You know whatís not fair to Flair is that heís still in there.

Gorilla: Oh please!

 

#28 is Sgt. Slaughter. Skinner is dumped out by Martel and Slaughter goes for Flair. Piper and Hogan rekindle their old rivalry. Gorilla says that Flair has set a new longevity record.

 

Bobby: Give him the title thatís good enough for me.

Gorilla: No Iím not giving him the title.

 

Savage uses Hoganís shirt on IRS. #29 is Sid Justice. He goes for IRS whoís been in there for a long time too. And heís almost out but heís back in. Flair and IRS double team Hogan. Flair hammers on Hogan now but is caught by Sid.

 

Gorilla: We only have one entry left and thereís no secret involved itís the Warlord.

Bobby: But you never know.

Gorilla: What?
Bobby: You never know what Tunney and the WWF will pull on you.

Gorilla: It can only be one man. (The Warlord comes out.)

Bobby: Iím right. I told you I was right.

 

Weíve got 9 guys left in this match who can win the title. Flair goes under the ropes and he pulls Hogan under the ropes too. Hogan suplexes Flair on the floor as Sid throws Slaughter hard into the corner and over the top rope and out! Big boot by Hogan on Flair. IRS tries to throw out Piper but Piper grabs the tie and pulls out Irwin to a big pop! Sid and Hogan double team Warlord.

 

Bobby: Look at this. Look at the beef. You want to know where the beef is? Thereís the beef right there pal!

Gorilla: (As Hogan and Sid dump Warlord out) Thereís the beef is right and there goes the beef!

 

Down to 6 men. Sid dumps Martel and Piper. Down to 4. Savage, Hogan, Flair and Sid. Flair nails Sid and Savage is gone. Hogan hammers on Flair now as Sid just stands there. And then Sid dumps out Hogan!! Hogan and Sid argue and Hogan helps Flair dumps Sid at 61:58 and Flair whoís spent 59 minutes of those 61 minutes in that ring is the WWF Champion!! Bobby is estatic (Going ďYES YES YES YES! YES YES YES! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!!Ē) and he leaves the booth to meet Flair. Meanwhile Sid and Hogan shove each other in the ring and it takes 100 officals to break it up. This would lead to a match between those two at Wrestlemania! Anyhoo, this was the BEST Royal Rumble thanks to Flairís performance and he deserves to be the Champion. Easily the best Rumble with 2001 coming in 2nd *****

 

Interview with Gene Okerlund, Flair, Bobby, Perfect and Tunney.

 

Gene: All right by virtue of winning the Royal Rumble we have a brand new WWF champion as the press watches on. At this time to present the belt to the new champion our president, the distinguished Jack Tunney.


Tunney: Congratulations Ric Flair on becoming the undisputed champion of the World Wrestling Federation.

 

Flair: Let me just say after video distorting the belt the proclaiming the real world champion. Iím going to tell you all with a tear in my eye. This is the greatest moment in my life. When you walk around in this world and youíre telling everybody that youíre number one, the only way to stay number one is to be number one and this is the only title in the Wrestling world that makes you number one. When you are the king of the WWF you rule the world. Think about it like that Mr. Perfect. The Brain. WHOO!!

 

Bobby: Letís give a big one. WHOOOOOOOOOO! You did it. I was never so impressed with anything Iíve ever seen all my life. He was in there for over 60 minutes. Never took a backstep. Took it to Hogan. Took it to the Undertaker. Took it to whoever got in that ring. Thatís why he is and you can call him now the real worldís champion.

 

Perfect: Weíre not the kind of people that told you so but weÖ

 

Bobby and Perfect: Told you so!

 

Gene: Ok very good. Ric Flair you have made Worldó(To a press member) Put that cigarette out! (Back to Flair) You have made World Wrestling Federation history tonight.

 

Flair: Itís the greatest moment of my life.I want to jump. I want to party. But I got to tell you like this, for the Hulk Hogans, and the Macho Men, and the Pipers, and the Sidís. Now itís Ric Flair and you all pay homage to the man. WHOOOOO!!

 

That says it all right there.

 

Summary: Well there was a lot of crap before the Rumble. However the Rumble makes up most of the show and since it has the performance of a lifetime by Flair, A lot of old NWA fans maybe saying ďOh heís been in there close to an hour before with Ricky Steamboat.Ē Well it was just Steamboat and not 29 other guys. Thatís why itís the performance of a lifetime by Flair and Iím giving this show HIGHLY RECOMMENDED just for that.