Nickrj’s rant for the 1990 Royal Rumble

 

Live from the Orlando Arena in Orlando Florida on January 21st 1990. This is the first time the WWF has ever been in this new arena because the NBA’s Orlando Magic were in the midst of their inaugural season. Today’s main event features 30 of the greatest superstars in one ring on one match along with 4 other matches and a special interview segment.

 

Your hosts are Tony Schivione and Jesse Ventura. Jesse is wearing Mickey Mouse ears and a sweatshirt. He has a Goofy hat for Tony.

 

The Bushwhackers VS The Fabulous ROUGEAU Brothers (With Jimmy Hart)

Didn’t we already see this match at Wrestlemania V? At least the Whackers won’t stink up the ring during the rumble match. We do get a ton of stalling to start it off which is commonplace with the Whackers. Butch finally starts with Raymond and Ray takes control. A double team by the Rougeaus backfires but Ray hooks a sleeper. Butch breaks it and he bites Raymond and then the ref! What the hell was that? They go for the battering ram but Jacques rolls out of the ring and they regroup with the Mouth. Jacques draws some heat by taunting the crowd. He starts pounding on Luke but he fights back and now he’s biting Jacques! Where’s the ref? Leap frog by Jacques and Luke inadverntanly nails Raymond. Another regroup with Jimmy Hart and some more stalling. Raymond nails Luke from Behind and he chokes him with the tag rope in the corner. Jack, I mean Jacques gets the cover for 2. Savat kick by Ray for another 2. He throws Luke to the outside where Jacques rams his back to the apron. Butch goes after the Coronel meanwhile. More biting by Luke. Rougeaus with some smart double teaming though to keep control. Flying elbow by Jacques and a nip up. Yawn. Double stun gun by the Rougeau’s Chinlock by Raymond. Another bite by Luke. That’s about the one thing these Bushwhackers are great at. Finally Jacques bites him back. Ab stretch and he uses his brother for leverage. Raymond gets the tag in and a camel clutch. Jacques comes in and Luke blocks a flying splash with his knees. Butch gets the hot tag and starts peppering Jacques and Raymond. All 4 men are in and they throw the Rougeau’s together. They go for the Ram but Jimmy Hart grabs Luke’s leg. They catch him though but the Rougeau’s catch them with dropkicks. Raymond with a Boston Crab but Luke trips Jacques. Both brothers hug but the Whackers hit the Battering ram and Butch pins Jacques at 13:35. Good thing this is the only tag match I have to recap today. 1/4*

 

Gene Okerlund is with Ted Dibiase and Virgil. Last year Dibiase “drew” number 30 but this year there was hightened security and Ted asked his bodyguard to pick his number. Guess what number Ted got? Needless to say he’s pissed. Ted Dibiase one of my favorite mic people of all time.

 

Brutus Beefcake VS The Genius (Lanny Poffo)

Poffo has a poem for us and of course he insults the Barber. Stalling to start. That’s been very popular thus far in this show. Genius doesn’t want to wrestle but he does do a cartwheel outside the ring. Tie up and a clean break. A flip by the Genius. In the corner and Poffo gets an eye rake. He takes an inverted atomic drop though and goes to the outside. Another eye poke by Poffo. He misses a leg lariat in the corner and Bruti steps on the hands. Genius back to the outside again. Geez! He gets some shots in the corner as well as a headbutt. Beefcake counters a headdown though. Ring my bell by the Barber. Genius takes control though. Dropkick for 2. Rollup for another 2. Slam by the Genius and he goes to the 2nd rope and gets caught by Brutus. Gut shot by the Barber. Slam and he rakes the eyes. Brutus hooks the sleeper but Poffo breaks it. Beefcake throws the Genius into the ref who goes outside the ring. Bruti hooks the sleeper again but there’s no ref and he puts out Poffo. He goes out to get his scissors and he starts clipping the Genius’ hair and out comes Mr. Perfect who pounds on Beefcake and the ref gets up and DQ’s both men at 11:04. Both Perfect and Genius double team Beefcake and Perfect grabs a chair and hits Beefcake in the ribs twice with it. Beefcake sells it like a car hit him in the ribs. Anyways this match sucked 1/2*

 

Sean Mooney is with the Heenan family. Bobby Heenan, Ravishing Rick Rude, Haku and Andre The Giant. Mooney starts an argument with the Heenan’s asking what if X faces Y at the end of the Rumble. Who cares Mooney? It’s every man for himself!

 

Ad for Wrestlemania VI. April 1st 1990 at the Skydome! If this were a closing logo I’d say this one would be a scare factor of Median because of the music.

 

Submission Match: Rugged Ronnie Garvin VS Greg Valentine (With Jimmy Hart)

The blowoff to the feud which started back in April. Greg goes outside the ring and Garvin takes it to him. Back in the ring Garvin gets a headbutt and 2 chops. He covers but there are no pinfalls in this match. Both Garvin and Valentine have leg braces on. The Hammer with some chops of his own now. They are both trading some hard chops. Hammer to the outside again. Back in Hammer gets a hard shot and an elbow. He misses the second one. Valentine starts going for his Figure Four. Some more hard shots by these two. Garvin goes for a piledriver but he gets backdropped and holds on. He pulls hims over but no pins. More chopiing by Valentine and he’s wearing Garvin out with it. Both men collide in the middle. Hammer is first up and he almost hooks the figure four. Hard chop by Valentine and some fist drops. He hooks his Figure Four but the brace on Garvin’s leg proves the hold ineffective and Garvin teases Greg. Greg is pissed now and he hooks a backbreaker submission over his shoulder and drops him. Another hard elbow. He starts choking Garvin but it doesn’t work. Hard chopping by Garvin and some headbutts. Garvin hooks an Indian death lock on Greg’s left leg. Greg reaches the ropes though and Valentine regroups with the Mouth outside the ring. Greg pulls out Garvin and the chop away. Garvin gets backdropped on another pile driver attempt outside. And he gets hooked up in a tree of woe inside the ring as well. Both men collide again and Jimmy Hart pulls off the leg brace of Garvins. Back breaker by Valentine and he hooks the Figure Four again and this time Garvin is in pain but he does not submit. Garvin is able to turn it around and Valentine makes it to the ropes. Garvin can’t even stand up now. Greg continues to work on the right leg and gets rolled up on another Figure Four attempt. Greg goes to the top and gets slammed. Garvin takes off the Hammer’s shinguard. And he hooks the Hammer in the ropes. Hart tries to help him out but he gets thrown in the ring. Garvin hits Valentine with his shin guard when Valentine tries to do the same and Garvin hooks the Sharpshooter for the submission at 16:51. Good matchup by these two. **3/4

 

Gene Okerlund who’s with Mr. Perfect who talks about what he did earlier to Brutus Beefcake and he states that he drew the Perfect number. Another one of my favorite people to listen to on the mic.

 

The Brother Love Show with Sapphire and Sensational Queen Sherri

Man I miss BL. He always looks like he’s got a permanent sunburn. Anyway Love says that as he came to the arena he looked in the book of love and came across the word of lady. A woman with class, finesse and exquisive beauty. Sensation Queen Sherri the manager of the Macho King Randy Savage. Love says he also came across the word pheasant. A woman with no class, no finesse and no beauty; ugly. And that is Sapphire the manager of the American dream Dusty Rhodes. Once she gets in the ring Love and Sherri start poking fun at Sapphire. Sapphire finally has had enough and she slaps Sherri. Savage comes out to the ring as does Dusty Rhodes but he gets beaten by the King. Sapphire jumps the King and Love jumps Sapphire from behind. The King is ushered out by officials and Rhodes and Sapphire beat up Love inside the ring and they dance. Let’s just move on.

 

Sean Mooney who’s with Hacksaw Jim Duggan who will take care of the Big Boss Man. Tough Guy!

 

Hacksaw Jim Duggan VS The Big Boss Man (With Slick)

Funny as this was after the Superstars taping where the Boss Man turned babyface by not accepting Dibiase’s favor of stealing the Million Dollar title from Jake Roberts. He doesn’t get any babyface pop here though. It’s the 2X4 VS the Knifestick and they slug it out to start. Duggan knocks the Boss Man to the outside and they brawl out there as well. Duggan is thrown into the post and Boss runs into the post as well. Duggan takes an avalanche in the corner. Boss Man hits an enzuguri and mark that down in your book. Butt splash on the 2nd rope. Duggan starts to fight back but puts his head down. Throat shot and Slick chokes him as well. Rest hold by the boss man. Duggan is back up and takes a knee to go back down. Another rest hold. And a bear hug and Duggan gets out with some headbutts. Duggan finally gets some offense and knocks the Bossman to the outside. He misses a charge and Boss Man goes to the top and misses a flying splash. Double clothesline. Boss Man accidentally nails Slick. Slick hands Boss Man the Knifestick and he nails Duggan with it for the DQ at 10:22. Dull match 3/4* Duggan clears the ring with his 2X4 and he nails Slick with it.

 

And now for some more pre Rumble interviews. BRAVO AND EARTHQUAKE, DEMOLITION, BROWN, RHODES, ROCKERS, HERCULES, MARTEL, SANTANA, SNUKA, AKEEM, WARRIOR

 

Sean Mooney is outside of the arena and he asks some fans before the event today who’s going to win the Royal Rumble. One lady says Mr. Perfect and gets booed. A little girl says Bret Hart’s going to win and one cool dude chooses the Macho King.

 

More interviews. SAVAGE, POWERS, OF PAIN, ROBERTS, HART FOUNDATION, HONKY TONK MAN, HOGAN

 

30 Man Royal Rumble Match:

We’ve got 2 minute intervals here. If you guessed earlier that Ted Dibiase got Number one then you are CORRECT!! Koko B. Ware got number two and I actually think 2 is worse than 1 because when 2 gets in the ring 1 is waiting for them. That’s exactly what happens here to start. Dibiase pounds on Koko but makes the mistake by ramming his steel head into the turnbuckle. Koko starts getting some shots in. He sets to knock Dibiase out first but instead he is backdropped over the top rope and eliminated. #3 is Marty Jannetty. He gets jumped as well but Marty slides under the legs and hits 2 dropkicks. He runs into a boot though. Dibiase with a wicked clothesline. He goes to the 2nd rope and takes a shot to the stomach. Flying elbow by Marty. He goes for a crossbody but goes over the top rope as well and out. #4 is Jake Roberts!! Great booking here as these two had a major issue. They go to the outside and Jake is slammed. Million Dollar Dream slapped on but Ted is rammed into the post. They go back in and Jake hits a backdrop and a short clothesline. He goes for the DDT but gets backdropped instead. Randy Savage is #5 who goes after Jake as well. Wow all 3 of these guys in the ring were at odds with each other at one point or another. Savage and Dibiase double team Jake for this portion. Savage hits a double axhandle from the top and they tie Jake in the ropes. #6 is Rowdy Roddy Piper and he goes after Dibiase and Savage. Crowd is exploding for Piper here and he helps Jake out of the ropes. Jake goes after Dibiase and Piper goes after Savage. Piper and Roberts try to get the King out and Sensational Sherri is screaming. Piper is almost eliminated. #7 is The Warlord, A big 330 pounder. He goes after Jake and already has lasted longer than he did last year. J 5 Men in the ring now. Savage and Dibiase try to get Jake out with help from Virgil and Sherri. Another double axhandle on Jake by Savage. #8 is Bret Hart who gets a big pop! He goes after Ted as well and Ted accidentally hits Savage. Bret goes after the Warlord now. Bret and Piper double team the Warlord and that’s unusual. #9 is Bad News Brown with huge heat. He goes after Bret Hart remembering Wrestlemania IV. Jake hits another short clothesline on Dibiase and goes for the DDT but Savage clotheslines Jake out just as he would eliminate him two years later at the Rumble. Dibiase almost gone again. Bret tries to get the Warlord out. #10 is Dusty Rhodes. Man this crowd is hot tonight. He goes after Savage and backdrops him over the top and out. Jesse calls it an upset. I would have to agree. I bet a lot would think Savage would be in there longer than this. Brown and Hart are still going at it. Andre the Giant is #11!!! He goes after the other big man in the ring; the Warlord and he tosses him out like a piece of trash. Bobby Heenan and Mr. Fuji go at it outside the ring as well. Andre rams both Piper and Rhodes and we’re seeing vintage Andre in the corner. Both Piper and Rhodes double team Andre but it backfires. Dibiase has lasted almost 20 minutes at this point. #12 is The Red Rooster and he goes after Rhodes. Piper dumps out Brown but Brown comes back on the apron and dumps out Piper and they both brawl all the way back into the locker room. Rhodes almost has Dibiase out but Virgil makes the save. #13 is Ax of Demolition as Andre tosses the Rooster out. Ax goes after Andre and is single handily taking him apart. Andre places him in a choke though. Hart and Rhodes try to get Dibiase out of there. Andre is tied in the ropes and Rhodes and Ax work him over. They unhook him and he nails both of them. Haku is number 14 who goes after Ax and Rhodes. Andre sits on Ax. Dusty with some jabs on Haku but he falls over himself. Hart continues to work over Dibiase who has now reached 25 minutes. Haku hits Ax with his superkick. #15 is Smash and now we have both Demos in there. He goes after Andre and both Demos hammer on him but Haku kinda makes the save. Hart tries to get Dibiase out again but Haku makes the save. The Demos now try to get Dibiase out. Bret is choking Andre out. I bet this is the only time these two have ever faced. Akeem is #16 with the Slickster. There are now 8 men in the ring. Akeem goes after Andre and Demolition clothesline Haku and they both push Andre over the top rope and out!!! Meanwhile Rhodes takes care of Bret Hart. Down to 6 men in the ring now. Demos try to get Haku out and Andre gets a last shot in before leaving. #17 is Jimmy Snuka as Dibiase has now lasted 30 minutes and counting. Snuka goes after Akeem who is now the biggest man in the ring. Virgil saves Dibiase again. Snuka eliminates Akeem! Kinda an upset there as well. Dibiase continues to take punishment and the Demos go after Snuka and Haku. Rhodes and Dibiase continue to work it out and now Rhodes hits Haku and Dibiase hits Rhodes from behind. Dino Bravo is #18 who goes after Ax. Haku and Bravo now go at it. They both get a double knoggin knock from Snuka. Demolition continue to double team out there. Ax hammers on Bravo as Smash tries to get Dibiase out for the umpteenth time. Rhodes tries to get Bravo out. #19 is the Earthquake the new big man of the WWF. He goes for Rhodes and gets rid of him. Demolition try their luck on Quake but Quake throws Ax out as well. He’s doing a lot of stomping around. Quake now is after Haku, Bravo tries to get Smash out. Snuka tries to get Dibiase out. #20 is Jim Neidhart and he goes after Earthquake. Now everyone except for Bravo is trying to get Quake out and they do!! They used the Andre The Giant strategy there. Neidhart is now after Haku as is Snuka and Bravo. Double atomic drop by Smash and Neidhart. Unusual team there. #21 is the Ultimate Warrior who gets a Big time pop!! He goes after Dino Bravo and gets rid of him.  Now he goes after Snuka. Haku and Snuka double team the Warrior but Smash stops that. UW and Anvil try to get Dibiase out but they turn on each other. #22 is the Model Rick Martel. Smash goes after him. Martel is fresh though and he and UW try to get Smash out. Martel tries to get the Anvil out and Haku superkicks Smash out. Martel almost goes out courtesy of the Anvil but he comes back in. #23 is Tito Santana and he goes after Martel like always and tries to get him out. Snuka and Neidhart try to get Dibase out and Virgil’s helping hand comes thru again. Warrior tries to get Martel out. #24 is the Honky Tonk Man who goes after the man who took his IC title; the Warrior. Warrior and Martel get Neidhart out of there. Warrior then clotheslines Dibiase out after He was out there for 45 minutes nearly. Santana tries to get Martel out again as Snuka and Honky go at it. Hulk Hogan is #25 and the crowd goes nuts!! He goes after Snuka and gets rid of him. Then he goes for Haku and boots him out as well. He goes after Honky. Warrior and Martel get rid of Santana and we’re down to 4 men now. Honky uses Hogan’s own t-shirt to try and choke him out. #26 is Shawn Michaels. Hogan gets rid of Honky. Warrior gets rid of Shawn and Martel and now it’s down to Hogan and the Warrior and the crowd is just exploding for this confrontation as it’s the first time these two have ever met in the ring!! They both don’t budge on shoulder blocks and they clothesline each other ending that confrontation. But after seeing that Vince knew he had to have this as a main event at the Skydome at Wrestlemania. #27 is The Barbarian who lowers the boom on Hogan and the Warrior. Big boot on Hogan. Rick Rude comes in and he’s #28 although he doesn’t even wait for the horn. He goes after his former nemesis the Warrior. Barbie works over Hogan. Dropkick by Rude on the Warrior. Rude and Barbie try to get Hogan out and Warrior makes the save. Barbie and Rude try to get the Warrior out. Hogan hits both Rude and Barbie and gets rid of the Warrior. Warrior comes in and nails both Barbie and Rude and then takes off. #29 is Hercules who goes after Rude. Hogan works over Barbie. Finally Mr. Perfect is #30 and he goes after Hogan. 5 men are left in the ring. Barbie big boots Rude and Herc backdrops Barbie out. Rude clotheslines Herc out. Rude and Perfect double team on Hogan now. Rude accidentally nails Perfect thru the ropes to the apron. He tries to get up and Perfect accidentally pulled the top rope and Rude goes over! Down to Hogan and Perfect. Perfect counters a headdown and he hits a Perfect Plex not realizing that there’s no pinfall. Hogan hulks up and he slingshots Perfect to the turnbuckle. He throws Perfect out over the corner and wins the match at 58:43! And in a famous visual he grabs a banner which says “Hulkamania will live forever” and holds it for all to see. Great Rumble with a lot of classic matchups in there. ****1/4. BTW Perfect was supposed to win this rumble originally but Hogan vetoes it and elected himself to win it.

 

Summary: Well the Rumble itself was very good but the undercard was pretty much throwaway. The Rumble match is well worth a look but not much else. MILDLY RECOMMENDED