Nickrjís rant for Uncensored 1995

 

I know this is one of the worst PPVís of all time but I found it off Amazon for only 5 dollars so I decided to give it a go. Besides whatís to lose right?

 

Live from The Coliseum in Tupelo, Mississippi on March 19th 1995 During the opening we find out that all of the matches have NO RULES which means NO DQís NO COUNTOUTS NO NOTHING! Keep that in mind later on.

 

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan. We find out that Hulk Hogan has introduced his ultimate surprise to be in his corner. THE RENEGADE!! Anyone one who actually liked this loser e-mail me at Nickrj@aol.com.

 

King Of The Road Match: Dustin Rhodes VS Blacktop Bully

Yup. This is that match Iíve been talking about recently. It takes place on the back of an 18 wheeler moving at 55 MPH and the winner must blow a horn on the top of a rail. Yeah and like this is actually live out on the road somewhere. Dustin tries to get the horn but is low blowed by Bully. They ďbrawlĒ around on the haystacks and Bobby says thereís manure on there. Manure pretty much describes this match pretty much. Tony notes that itís hard for these wrestlers to stand which is why this is the only time weíve had this match. Dustin stops Bully from getting the horn and hits a piledriver. He throws a bale of hay at Bully. Bobby says ďWhat great camerawork!Ē Yeah right. Bully chokes Dustin with a rope. Man itís getting darker out there. Dustin throws a gascan at Bully. Dustin almost honks the horn again. Back suplex by Dustin on to the hay. Bully almost gets to the horn and falls over as the truck turns. Only 10 minutes into this PPV and Iím already ready for a nap. Bully almost gets to the horn again but is low blowed again. Yawn! Sun is setting out there. Dustin grabs a trough of manure and hits Bully with it. Truck has stopped by a church bus. Wow! They go again and they almost lose the ďliveĒ feed. Bullyís leg is rammed into the side of the truck. Theyíre both on top of the truck now and Dustin is knocked down. The feed is almost lost again. I wish they do lose this feed. Itís dark now and they brawl around some more on the truck. Bully hits Dustin with the gas can. He leaps onto Dustin and whips him with a rope. Bully almost gets to the horn and so is Dustin as the truck slows down again. Now itís lighter again. Bully hits Dustin with the rope and honks the horn at 13:20. Bobby is yelling ďYES! YES! YES!Ē probably because itís over. WHAT A DISGRACE OF A MATCH -**** It was seriously that bad. Crowd is now dead in the arena. To add insult to injury, both these guys bladed and were fired because you couldnít blade on WCW at the time.

 

Martial Arts Match: Hacksaw Jim Duggan VS Meng (with Col. Rob Parker.)

Yeah like Duggan know any martial arts. Crowd is just dead thanks to that opening match. The referee is Sonny Onoo before he became the manager of Ernest Miller. Stalling to start as Onoo and Duggan argue a bit. Then they have to bow to each other and bow to the ref. Meng kicks Duggan as he bows and almost gets a pin. Slugfest develops now. Duggan uses his boot on Meng but Meng counters. He goes to the nerve pinch. Duggan gets out and is choked in the corner. Crowd doesnít like this and neither do I. Duggan fights back and uses his shirt to try to choke Meng. Meng goes back to the nerve pinch. He gets a throat shot and some chops. He goes to choking on Duggan. Duggan is back up and he is knocked down again. Nerve pinch again by Meng. Yawn. Duggan comes back with some elbows but hurts his own head on a headbutt. Idiot. Foot to the throat by Meng and Parker chokes Duggan with his hankie but itís legal cause itís Uncensored. Throat shot by Meng and he misses two elbows. Duggan counters a head down and does the 10 punch count in the corner. He goes after Sonny but goes back to work on Meng. He hits the 3 point stance but Meng no sells it. Parker is nailed on the apron and Meng hits his superkick for the pin at 7:03. Another autrocity. -*

 

Boxer VS Wrestling Match: Johnny B. Badd (with Rock Finnigan)VS Arn Anderson (with Col. Rob Parker)

These two have had a history that started with Anderson winning the TV title from Badd and he would later lose it to THE RENEGADE AT GAB!! We get a nice video package of Anderson though before the match. 10 three minute rounds are scheduled and you can win by Pin or Submission or a 10 count knockdown. Something I didnít know when I did BAB99 last week.

 

1st Round: John gets a jab in and a left. Arn gets him into the corner but Badd reverses and knocks Arn out of the ring. Badd starts to get some more shots and Arn goes down. He gets up at 6. Arn gets a knee and a left hand but Badd continues to punch away until the round is over.

 

2nd Round: Arn backs John into the corner and gets some shots but Badd knocks down Arn with a flurry. Arn is back up at 8. John continues to hammer but is tripped and Arn misses an elbow and heís knocked down again and back up at 7. Crowd is dead right now. John continues to pound away and Arn is down again. No TKO rule though BECAUSE THERE ARE NO RULES! Arn is up at 8. John pounds on Arn some more and Arn is down for the 4th time this round. Round mercifully ends for Arn. But he hits a DDT during the rest period knocking out Badd.

 

3rd Round: Arn cheapshots Badd and throws him over the top rope before the round starts. Slam by Arn and a knee drop. He chokes Badd on the 2nd rope. Boot to the throat. Badd gets a couple of gut shots but is taking some punishment now by Arn. He throws Badd into a chain held by Parker and Arn hits the spinebuster but Rock comes in and jumps on Arn. Arn hammers on Badd some more. Jaw jacker by Arn. Badd comes back with a flurry but heís thrown to the outside as the round ends. Arn throws him into Rock for good measure.

 

4th Round: Arn jumps Badd again and slams him. Rock puts a pail on Arn and Badd nails him and knocks him out at :28 of the round to a huge pop! I thought this was a fun hybrid. **1/2.

 

Randy Savage VS Avalanche

Tony again says that there are NO RULES which means NO DQís NO COUNTOUTS NOÖyou get the point already. Savage jumps Av to start and hammers on him. Av misses an Av and a shoulderblock and no one moves. A clothesline and Av doesnít go down. Shoulderblock by Av but he goes flying over the top rope. Savage then hits a top rope bodypress on the outside. Av is thrown into the post and steps. Slam but Av is JUST TOO FAT for 2. Why does Savage always try to slam guy 200 pounds fatter than him? Big elbow drop and a legdrop for 2. Belly to Belly by Av. Dropkick by Av for 2. Slam by Av but he misses an elbow. Savage is thrown to the outside where his head hits the rail. Hard chop and another one and Savage is thrown into the post. Av knocks him to outside again and again and again. Savage clothesines Av across the top rope and hits a bulldog from the top for 2. Clothesline and another one. Sunset flip but Av squashes him. Av walks over Savage and hits a big splash for 2. Powerslam and he almost hits his butt splash. Savage comes back with an elbow and he rolls him up for 2. Eyerake and Savage goes to the top rope but is caught and rammed into the corner. Another powerslam by Av. He goes to the 2nd rope and misses a splash. Savage goes to the top and hits a double axhandle on Av outside. A woman comes out and attacks Savage. She throws him into the rail and chops Savage. Huh? This lady and Av double team Savage and Flair takes off his wig to reveal RIC FLAIR IN A DRESS!!!! What an infamous moment. Av hits the butt splash and Hogan comes out to make the save. Savage wins the match BY DQ AT 11:58!! That settles it right there. This is the worst PPV Iíve seen already and thereís still more to come sadly. 1/2*

 

Sting VS Big Bubba Rogers

Sting bites the finger of Bubba to start and hammers on him. He dropkicks Bubba out to the floor. Sting squashes the hat of Bubba and throws it to the crowd. Slam by Sting and an elbow. Sting is brawling more than wrestling here because ITíS UNCENSORED!! He throws Bubba to the outside.Bubba trips Sting on the outside but is kicked into the post. Sting hammers on Bubba some more inside. Sting botches a leapfrog and sells a knee injury. Bubba starts working on it now for our first real psychology of the night. Tony mentions that Sting tore out his knee in Feburary 1990 FROM JUMPING DOWN FROM A STEEL CAGE! That injury pretty much put NWA/WCW in the dumper right there. Sting starts to fight back now but is kicked in the knees some more. Butt splash on the ropes by Bubba. Piledriver reversed into a backdrop by Sting. Bubba works on the leg some more. Bobby says that the crowd doesnít know how to react to this which means that they are dead. Bubba goes to the top and falls off for whatever reason. Sting goes to the top and hits a flying chop. Slam by Sting. Bubba goes to the outside but is brought back in and Sting hooks a sleeper and is thrown into the corner. Sting hooks it again but Bubba hits a jawbreaker. Belly to back suplex by Sting. Snap mare and he goes to the top and hits a flying splash for 2. Elbow but Bubba clips the leg falling down. Bubba misses a charge and Sting tries a slam but falls over and Bubba gets the pin at 13:43. Okay match. *1/2

 

Texas Tornado Match: The Nasty Boys VS Harlem Heat (with Sister Sherri)

Falls count anywhere because ITíS UNCENSORED! Harlem Heat arenít even in the ring when the Nasties come to the ring and they jump the Nasties from behind. Booker T and Stevie Ray are taking it to Brain Knobs and Jerry Sags. Ax kick by T on Knobs. Weak Spike piledriver by Heat on Knobs. They double team Sags outside now. The Nasties start to fight back now. They send Sherri into the ring and knock her around and give her a pit stop but the Heat stop that. Sags puts a bucket of garbage over Ray. They go out of the ring, down the aisle and into the concession stand. Sags is thrown into the lemonade and Cotton Candy. Sherri tries to choke out Sags as Ray throws some Cotton Candy at Sags. Knobs slips around on it. They brawl around some more and slip and slide on the wet floor. Now weíve got Mustard all over the place. Knobs is thrown into the funnel cakes. Ray gets a 2 count on Sags. Sags hits Ray with a bag of something there. The Funnel cakes stand is now broken down. Low headbutt by Sags. The bell rings at 8:37 though I donít know what happened. The Nasties are declared the winners because I guess Knobs pinned T and the cameras missed it. Oh well this brawl was nothing DUD.

 

WCW World Title Strap Match: Hulk Hogan (with The Renegade) VS Vader (with Ric Flair)

Flair still is wearing makeup from earlier tonight when he was in drag. The crowd pops when Renegade comes to the ring. That did not last long though. He takes down Flair as Hogan and Vader are strapped to each other. The winner must drag his opponent to all 4 corners of the ring. Hogan takes off Vaderís mask and drags him back in the ring. Hogan drags Vader to two corners and bites him. He lashes Vader and then Flair with the strap. Renegade no sells Flair offense on the outside and they go out to the aisleway. Clothesline by Hogan inside. Renegade throws Vader back in because ITíS UNCENSORED! Vader starts to fight back now. Slam by Vader. He goes to the 2nd rope and hits the Vader Bomb. Flair and Gade jump on the apron. Vader chokes Hogan with the strap now. He lashes him with it. Jimmy Hart comes out as he was nowhere to be found all night. Hogan is knocked to the outside. Vader has got a chair and he drops it and goes after Hart. Hogan grabs the chair and nails Vader with it 3 times. Another one right in the face. Hogan lashes and chokes Vader with the strap now. Vader is rammed into the post three times. Another chair shot by Hogan. Gade and Flair go at it inside the ring. Hogan and Flair are back in now. Vader is thrown to the outside again. Vader is being choked again with the strap and heís slammed. Hogan touches 2 corners but heís thrown into the rail. They fight on the aisleway some more and Vader nails Renegade and he no sells it. Vader hits a chokeslam inside. Big splash by Vader. Suplex by Vader and Hogan hulks up. Big boot and the legdrop. He touches 1, 2, 3 and Vader holds the bottom rope as a masked man comes out and smashes Renegade with a chair. Flair comes in and nails Hogan with a chair. Flair and Vader double team Hogan. Vader touches 1 as Flair smashes Renegade with another chair. Vader touches 2, 3, Flair comes in and puts a chair on Hogans head. Vader goes to the 2nd rope and a somersault misses. Flair pulls Vader out and grabs another chair and smashes it over Hogan but Hogan hulks up again. He lashes Flair with the strap and hits the big boot and lashes him some more. He ties the strap to Flair and touches 1, 2, 3 and 4 TO WIN THE MATCH AT 18:25?!! Kill me now please. DUD. Vader and Flair beat down on Hogan now but Hogan turns the tide. Another masked man comes out with a chair and Arn Anderson comes out tied up as the 2nd masked man reveals himself to be Randy Savage who clears the ring of Vader and Flair. And mercifully for me, this show is over!

 

Summary: Do you really need one? This is up to this point THE WORST PPV I HAVE SEEN! From the King Of The Road match to Ric Flair dressed in drag to Savage getting a DQ win when thereís no DQís to Hogan beating Flair instead of Vader to win the strap match. The best match was **1/2 and that was really a boxing match. All I have to say is STRONGEST RECOMMENDATION TO BREAK EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIVING ROOM IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW.