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Nickrj’s rant for Smack ‘Em Whack ‘Em

 

A Coliseum video release back in April 1993.

 

Your host is Lord Awful Alfred Hayes. He’s in a run down house because we’re going to be learning Home Improvement tips from none other than Luke and Butch. THE BUSHWHACKERS!! Basically the Bushwhackers type of comedy is the same as the two headed purple monster from Sesame Street (Where the left head has black hair and the right head has a black beard.) They’re going to make the house into a “Rec” House. The Bushwhackers Wrecking Room. Rule #1. SAFETY FIRST! A helmet for Alfred as well as goggles. The toolbelt is next and then the gloves.

 

Crush VS The Berserker

From Prime Time Wrestling in Erie, Pennsylvania. Crush gets a belly to belly to start it off. Test of strength is next. Crush shows his power by shoving Berserker to the outside. Serk catches Crush back in the ring though. Flying shoulderblock by Crush sends Serk to the outside again. Serk loves chanting “Huss!” He gets an eye poke and a Russian leg sweep. Slugfest develops but Crush runs into a big boot. A flying headbutt sends Crush to the outside. Pile driver nails him for 2. Serk misses a knee drop but he continues on the offensive. He ties Crush in the ropes and kicks away at his face. Crush no sells it though and unties himself. Crush starts to hammer. Inverted Atomic Drop and a clothesline. Backbreaker and a legdrop for 2. Serk misses a dropkick and Crush kicks the leg and Serk sells with a split! Crush gets the headvice for the submission at 6:17. Not a good match but nice enough moves and selling to make it worthwhile 1/2*

 

Back at the house. The Whackers are going to put a window in the wall which means they have to smash the wall down with a sledgehammer. They measure the wall and mark an X. Butch misses the X low by a mile. Idiot but you knew that already.

 

Earthquake VS Repo Man

Also from PTW. They tie up and Quake gets a shove off because he’s JUST TOO FAT. Repo takes a waist lock but gets nailed. Avalanche in the corner. Repo counters a headdown mistake and hammers on Quake. 2nd Rope clothesline brings down the big man. Legdrop gets 2. Chinlock. Shoulderblock by Quake and he steps over but misses an elbow. Repo tries to choke out Quake. He goes to the top and he gets caught and power slammed. Quake drops an elbow and finishes it with the butt splash at 4:23. A delayed squash. DUD

 

The Whackers now do some power sawing on the same wall. They find a wire in the wall and ask Alfred to hold it. The Whackers continue to saw on the wall and they “electrocute” poor awful Alfred.

 

Yokozuna: Cooking For The Single Man segment is next. Gene Okerlund is with Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna at a restaurant with a hibachi style grill. Gene says that Yoko consumes 15,000 calories daily. That would increase in time. First they get some handtowels to wipe hands with. Then they get some chopsticks and Gene has trouble with them. We get some sushi for an appetizer and Yoko gets two big bowls of it! Next we meet Lou who says that they’ll be having steak for 10 people (although they’re only 3 there) 5-10 pounds of Shrimp and Rice. Yoko consumes 11 Ribeye Steaks along with the Shrimp and rice. So that’s 2 big bowls of Sushi, 11 Ribeye Steaks and 5-10 pounds of Shrimp and rice! I bet when he trained to face Hulk Hogan at the King Of The Ring he increased his diet to 4 big bowls of Sushi, 15 Ribeye steaks and 12.5 pounds of Shrimp/Rice.

 

Profile on Bret Hart is next which is the reason why this Coliseum only release is popular.

 

IC Title Ladder Match: Bret Hart VS Shawn Michaels (With Sensational Sherri)

This is probably the first ladder match in WWF history which occurs during mid 1992. The IC title is hung on a rung and lifted 20 feet into the air and the winner must take a 15 foot ladder climb to the top and unhook the belt from the rung. Bret kisses his belt before giving it to the ref who hooks it. Tie up to start and Shawn gets some gut shots. Bret blocks a hip toss and hits a clothesline. Back drop. He rams Shawn hard backfirst into the corner. Headbutt followed by an uppercut. Shawn clips Bret as he tries to go outside though. Kneelift sold by Bret with a somersault. Shawn goes to the outside and gets the ladder in the aisleway. Bret nails Shawn though. He throws Shawn into the rail. They go back inside and Bret gets a headbutt and an elbow. He grabs the ladder and Sherri stops her. Bret confronts Sherri and Shawn uses the opportunity to almost grab the belt but Bret nails him at the last minute. Shawn gets an eyerake. Bret climbs the ladder but is dropped and Shawn tips the ladder over. Shawn takes the ladder now and rams it into Bret’s stomach. He misses another time though and Shawn sets it in the corner. Bret counters a headdown though. Bret is thrown shoulder first into the ladder in the corner. Shawn sets up the ladder. He climbs it but Bret pulls it down and it lands right on top of Shawn. Bret climbs the ladder but Shawn pulls him off himself. Shawn climbs but is knocked down again. Shawn throws Bret in the ladder in the corner. He throws Bret hard into the corner but he runs into a big boot and Bret hits a 2nd rope clothesline. Bret drops Shawn and slingshots him into the ladder. Backbreaker and Bret climbs the ladder and Shawn pulls him down. Double KO spot occurs. Shawn now sets up the ladder and both men climb it and both fall over. Sherri trips Bret on the ropes and Shawn hits his superkick. He goes for his slingshot suplex and hits it. Shawn sets up the ladder in the middle. He climbs it and Bret dropkicks the ladder and Shawn goes all the way to the outside! Bret climbs the ladder and grabs it at 13:46 to retain. Good ladder match but not a classic or anything ***1/2. Shawn would do a little tweaking and turn it into one of the best matches ever seen at Wrestlemania X.

 

WWF Title Match: Bret Hart VS Kamala (With Kimchee and Harvey Whippleman)

Why are they showing this match here? Stalling to start and Kamala misses a clothesline. Waistlock by Bret but he’s rammed into the corner. Kamala misses an avalanche and Bret starts working on the left arm. Eyerake and slam by Kamala but Bret comes back with a dropkick and he goes to a hammerlock. Kamala wants a test of strength. Bret doesn’t buy it though. Kamala tries it again and Bret takes it and stomps the bare foot of Kamala. He goes back to the left arm but Kamala shoves him down. Kamala now goes to town with his boring offense. Bear Hug. Nice savat kick by Kamala though. High choke hold. He tries to choke Bret down but the ref doesn’t even want to step in. Leapfrog by Kamala and Bret catches the foot and the side Russian leg sweep gets 2. 10 punch count by Bret. Kamala runs into a boot and Bret hits a 2nd rope clothesline for 2. Monkey flip in the corner. 2nd rope elbow. He tries the Sharpshooter but both managers jump on the apron. Kamala accidentally nails Kimchee and Bret rolls Kamala for the pin at 8:49. Pretty boring 1/2*. Kamala attacks Bret after the match but splashes Harvey instead of Bret.

 

WWF Title Match: Ric Flair (With Mr. Perfect) VS Bret Hart

This is the feature match on this tape! A match that never aired on TV. It’s from Saskatoon Saskatchewan Canada. Perfect is wearing an outfit similar to Bobby Heenan’s here tonight. A little bit of a handshake and a tieup to start and the ref steps in between. Side headlock takeover by Ric. Bret gets in a hammerlock though. Tie up and Bret grabs the left arm. Flair gets in a chop and throws Bret hard across the ring. Suplex blocked by Bret and reversed for 2. Headbutt and a backdrop. He tries the Sharpshooter but decides to soften up the stomach of the champ. Ric takes some time outside the ring. Tie up and a sideheadlock by Bret. Ric gets out and hooks a wristlock. Bret grabs the left arm and pulls on it. Armbar again. Bret with a nice wrestling sequence ending in a hammerlock. He flips Flair over and drops the knee on him but Flair kicks Bret and chops him. He throws Bret over the top rope. Bret comes back in with a sunset flip but he’s nailed. Bret tries it again and pulls the tights of Flair to get a 2 count. Back drop and 2 clotheslines and Flair does a flop outside the ring. Headbutt by Bret and another flop gets 2. Eye poke by Flair. He throws Bret stomach first into the buckle. Again. He now starts to work on the left leg. Knee smasher. Couple of shots to the face. Hard chop and another shot. Snapmare and he misses a running kneedrop. Bret almost gets a figure four but is pushed off. Side headlock but a knee smasher by Bret. He goes to work on the left leg of Flair. He hooks Flair’s own move the Figure Four! Ric makes the ropes though. Bret misses the elbow to the leg. He blocks a hiptoss and gets a backslide for 2. Ric takes control though. Sleeper by Bret but a back suplex by the champ. Perfect grabs a foreign object in his pocket as Flair gets a small package for 2. Double underhook suplex for 2. Another 2. Running knee drop by the champ. Hard chop for 2. Roll up by Bret for 2. Knee smasher into the Figure Four by Flair. Bret makes it to the ropes though. Flair continues to work on the left leg. He tries it again but Bret turns it into a small package for 2. Chop and Bret starts to fight back. He runs into a big boot though. Flair goes to the top rope and Bret slams him off the top. Back drop by Bret and an elbow for 2. Russian Leg sweep for 2. Back breaker followed by the 2nd rope elbow for 2. Suplex for another 2. Flair gets a chop but Bret no sells it. Bret hammers on Flair and he hits the Superplex. He hooks the Sharpshooter. Perfect jumps on the apron but jumps down and Flair submits at 26:28 and Bret Hart is the new WWF Champion! Great matchup and I doubt it can be found elsewhere. ****1/2.

 

We’re finally back at the house where Alfred has recovered. Next up is some plumbing. The Bushwhackers have broken a hole in the ceiling where they hope to make a bathroom. Luke uses a wrench on a pipe and ice cold water pours all over Alfred. The Whackers also find a fish out there.

 

The Undertaker (With Paul Bearer) VS Razor Ramon

This is not the same match from Invasion Of The Bodyslammers. Razor throws the toothpick in UT’s face and UT follows him to the outside. Razor hammers on UT inside the ring. UT no sells it though and he chokes out Razor in the corner. UT thrown hard into the corner but Razor runs into a boot. UT with the top rope walk and forearm to the back. Razor counters a headdown but is slammed. UT an elbow though and he’s clothesined to the outside. Lands on his feet though. UT clotheslines Razor on the top rope. Short clothesline. He misses a charge though and Razor with a top rope bulldog. He kicks UT on the ropes and pushes him outside. Razor grabs a chair and nails him. He throws him into the rail and into the steps. Back in UT is slammed and clotheslined but he keeps getting up. Sidewalk Slam by Razor and some elbows. Paul jumps on the apron and Razor grabs the urn but UT sits up and is nailed. Razor signals for the Razor’s Edge. He covers him instead but only gets 2. UT with the Chokeslam from hell and Razor bails out of the ring and leaves the arena and is counted out at 7:29. Okayish match *1/4

 

The Bushwhackers after nearly electrocuting and nearly drowning Awful Alfred. They set up a TV and a chair and they allow Alfred to watch all his favorite Coliseum videos. The Whackers then go to the store to buy some snacks. Alfred turns on the TV and the screen fades to black and a crash is heard and the Whackers saying “OH NO!” Anyone knows what happened there?

 

Summary: Not a bad tape at all. The Bret Hart stuff lasts over half the tape so you can’t go wrong with that. It’s also probally the only place where you’ll find his match with Flair where he wins the title. RECOMMENDED