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Tom Kennedy: Burt (Reynolds), earlier in the week you told us you were half Indian. How do you spell Reservation? (audience laughs)

Burt: I don’t think that’s funny Tom.

Tom: No I don’t either.

Burt: Are you calling me a name or something or what?

Tom: No sir.

Burt: Cause if you are, I’m going to take your head off and spit in it. (Tom laughs) I really don’t like that Tom. (Gets up)

Tom: Remember the day Jack Palance did this? (Burt chases Tom right out of his podium and Tom loses his mike in the process) Oh good ol lovable Burt. Either he’s crazy or I am.

Staff: Tom, Tom. We were putting you on. This is not the first question. We were doing it for April Fools. (To the celebs) Now would you come out and do that again?

Burt: I like that beginning.

Tom: Hold it, I got to go change pants first.

Tom Kennedy is on Candid Camera on It’s Your Bet

 

(To Tell The Truth is a category in the front game.)

Dick Clark: Bill (Cullen), didn’t you do that show?

Bill: Oh yes for seven, eight years.

Dick: May I call to your attention something that you may not be aware of. Here is a list of all the game shows this man has done.

Listen to this in alphabetical order, Bill Cullen Shows: Act It Out, Bank On The Stars, Blankety Blanks, Blockbusters, Chain Reaction,

Child’s Play, Down You Go, Eye Guess, Hot Potato, I’ve Got A Secret, The Joker’s Wild, The Love Experts, Matinee In New York, Name That Tune,

Pass The Buck, Place The Face, The Price Is Right, Password Plus, The $25,000 Pyramid, Three On A Match, To Tell The Truth, Why?, Winner Take All, Winning Streak

And You’re Putting Me On! (Crowd cheers) CAN’T YOU HOLD A JOB BILL?!!!

Bill: Not one of them lasted more than 13 weeks.

Dick Clark runs down Bill Cullen’s career on The $25,000 Pyramid

 

Tony: In the words of the late Mel Allen, “How about that?”

Dusty: Yeah “Holy Cow!” Phil Rizzuto.

Bobby: And like Harry Caray says “I’ll have one.”

Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes and Bobby Heenan after the ***** Rey Mysterio Jr./Psychosis bout at Bash At The Beach 7/7/96

 

Max Bygraves: Name something people take with them to the beach.

Man: Turkey.

Max: The first thing you buy at a supermarket.

Man: Uhhh turkey. (Laughs)

Max: A food often stuffed.

Man: Turkey. (Laughs)

I guess this man must love Thanksgiving. Family Fortunes (UK version of Family Feud)

 

Bob Eubanks: What will your husband say, what foreign country where the last car he bought was manufactured?

Lady: United States

Bob: What foreign country?

Lady: Texas.

Bob: Texas! (Laughs)

Obviously this lady flunked Geography. The Newlywed Game

 

Richard Dawson: Name an animal with 3 letters in its name.

Old Man: Alligator.

Um he said 3 letters not 9. Family Feud

 

(Fast money round)

Richard Dawson: Name an article of clothing children that are always losing.

Man: Their pants.

Richard: The price of a dozen roses

Man: $1.75

Richard: Besides a bird, something in a birdcage.

Man: Hamster

Richard: A popular-- (breaks down and the clock is stopped.) (To someone offstage) Make a note of this show. (Tries to continue but can’t stop giggling.) He’s answering with a smile on his face.

You can bet this man wasn’t smiling when he saw the results of these answers. Family Feud.

 

Kennedy: Jeff, you went friend so either you are taking home that $1600 or your friend Julian here is taking everything. (Julian) You went foe!!

Jeff: F---! F---! F---!

Kennedy: We actually have to beep that because we can’t say that on TV. Are you disappointed Jeff?

Jeff: Yeah man. I f--- f--- you know. F---! What the f---? Dude I trusted you!

Kennedy: Thank you Quentin Tarintino!

Jeff: I’m gonna keep saying f--- till I calm down.

Kennedy: Thank you for joining us. We’ll see you next time where knowledge can make you money and money can make you a Friend or Foe.

Jeff: F---!

A sore loser on Friend Or Foe

 

Joe Garigiola: Kitty (Carlisle) How did you vote?

Kitty: I went for number 2. I don’t think a bird like that would cost 50 to 200 dollars even though he could talk a little bit.

Joe: Ok. Bill Cullen

Bill: You know we have a rule on this show that if we had seen some of the people on the show, whether they are right or wrong we can question but not vote. Well I have to disqualify myself because I met one of those gentlemen in the men’s room. Which uh…

Peggy Cass: What does that got to do with it?

Bill: Well I want you to know where I met the man. Because you might--

Kitty: How did you know he was a real person?

Joe: How do you answer Kitty’s question?

Kitty: How did you know he was a real one?

Bill: He had his bird in his hand.

Bill Cullen shares an unpleasant experience on To Tell The Truth

 

“Coming soon to a theater near you, RAMBO KILLS EVERYONE!!!!! See Rambo shoot your best friends. See him kill you!

See Rambo shoot everyone in the whole world without having to reload his machine gun once. RAMBO KILLS EVERYONE!!!!!”

Les Lye, Censorship episode of You Can’t Do That On Television

 

“GOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM!! Hey this is not a test, this is Rock and Roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ!”

Robin Williams

 

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